Sunday, October 23, 2011

Chapter One (You Oughta Know)

Welcome to my blog! Writing has always been one of my guilty pleasures but life got in the way, and I never pursued it.  Luckily, I discovered a way to rekindle my love affair with the written word AND play my favorite game of all time, The Sims. 

*Strong language*


Location: 99 Embarcadero Drive
Date: Thursday, 10/20/11
Time: 11:11 a.m.

"Cause the joke that you laid 
On the bed that was me
And I'm not gonna fade
As soon as you close your eyes 
And you know it
And every time I scratch my nails 
Down someone else's back
I hope you feel it...
Well can you feel it?"

Hot tears trickle down my face as I run out of that condo.  The condo that I have shared with him for the last two years.  My mind cannot grasp what just transpired, and what I just saw with my own eyes.  The world that I thought I knew shattered in a matter of minutes, along with my hopes and dreams of happiness with the man that I thought was my soulmate.   

This can't be happening!!  


"Lyn, wait!! I'm sorry!"

I hear his voice from a distance.

I know he's right behind me, but I can't even bare to turn around and look at him right now.  I'd rather get hit  by a car than face the man that just humiliated me beyond repair.  I don't want anything to do with him or the life that we used to share.  I wish I can erase the last two years so I don't have to deal with the sharp knives slicing away at my heart with every breath that I take.

"Baby, please come back!" He begs again, but I ignore him.

Keep running.  


 My prayers must have been answered because I see a cab heading towards me and I desperately wave for it to stop.  By the time he reaches the corner of the street, I'm already inside.  For a brief moment, I watch him stare helplessly as I pull away behind tinted windows.

Don't look back.  



My cellphone keeps vibrating, but I ignore it.  I know it's him without having to look at the caller i.d.  I know it's that asshole.  I wipe the tears off my face as I try to shake the flashbacks of what  just happened a few minutes ago.  I pinch myself to see if it's all a dream, but I'm still sitting in the cab in shock.  Oh my God, this is actually real.  How could they do this to me??  On top of eveything that I've gone through this week, this shit happens.  In the heat of the blurry moment, all I can remember is the creaking of the wooden stairs as I run out of the condo.  Even my own mind won't let me remember what I just saw.


My phone vibrates again.  This time, I turn it off.


"Where to?"  The cab driver asks.

"Can you take me to the bridge?"

"The bridge?  I don't understand---"

"Just do it, please."


"Are you okay, Miss?"

"I'm fine."  

This will all be over soon.  


"Have a nice---"

"Thank you.  That will be all." I interrupt her as I hand over my fare.


As I peek down into the water, I imagine what would happen if I jumped.  I don't know how to swim.  Would I panic and try to swim to safety or would I just let go and let the water take me?  Would I slowly sink down to the bottom, enveloped by darkness as my lungs fill up with water, taking my last breath?  I don't know if I can deal with all of this excruciating pain right now.  The world that I thought I knew just came crashing down on me, and I just don't know if I can carry on today.  I just don't know if I want to see tomorrow.

"And I'm here to remind you
Of the mess you left 

When you went away
It's not fair to deny me
Of the cross I bear 

That you gave to me
You, you, you oughta know"


I take one good look at this city that I grew up in.  The place I call home where I'm surrounded by my family, friends and the man that I have been in love with since I first laid my eyes on him.  My life is here, my career is here...and my future was going to happen here.  Am I really ready to leave it all behind?  If I go through with this, this is going to be the last thing I'll see before I take the plunge.  This spot, on this bridge, looking into the city, will be my last moment in this world.  Is this how I really I want to go?

Visions of my cold body washing up on shore, being found by a random jogger, occupy my thoughts as I watch the ripples on the water.  My face and name would end up on the news when they identify who I am.  I think about how my loved ones would react.  I will be responsible for their eternal guilt.  Do I really want to put them through that?

There has to be another way.  I'm not ready to die today, but I can't stay in this damn city.  

*Copyright 2011 Lyn C.S.*

"You Oughta Know" by Alanis Morissette

Video by: tharaki0kurt


  1. One, love Alanis. Two, I see you like long comments so I will prattle on!

    I like that you started in the middle of the action; it hooks me right away and now I have to keep reading to find out what happened! I also think you're terrific at portraying emotional turmoil - I can really feel her pain. Great imagery.

    I will read the rest of this when I have more time, but so far I like what I've read!

  2. Hi Countthestars, welcome to my blog! I'm glad you're enjoying the story so far. Thank you for the kind words, that means a lot coming from a brilliant writer such as yourself. I checked out both of your stories, and they are very well-written. I will definitely be following them!

  3. WOW! This was absolutely beautiful! I have to tell you I first: LOVE the way you did the shots! Brilliant! They are gorgeous.

    You did a great job conveying her pain and agony I really hope she doesn't jump! There is no good in ending yourself over someone who didn't love you enough to not cheat (if that is his crime).

    If you're not against using cheats (and this one is helpful) when you're in the game enter the cheat console by pressing ctrl+shift+c and type in "hideheadlineeffects on" <--without the quotes and that will get rid of the pesky plumbobs and thought bubbles over their heads so you don't have to work around them.

    Great story, can't wait to

  4. Hi Daijahv, welcome to my blog! Thank you so much for checking out my story and for the kind words, I'm so glad you are enjoying it so far. Your enthusiasim is contagious, and I hope you continue to follow this story. :-)

    I'm so glad that you were able to feel her emotions as well, this wasn't exactly an ideal way to introduce the main character (in such a negative state) but for some reason that's just how it ended up when I did my revisions for Ch. 1. You will see why, as the next chapters will explain how she got to this point. I so agree that no problem is ever big enough to end you life over but after what she's been through that week, she felt like she was drowning.

    Thank you so much for the cheat code! I've always wondered how to get rid of those plumbobs, but never figured out how. So I will be using that when I play the game again. By the way, it's an honor to see you on my blog. You are quie a prolific writer! I'll be sure to check out your stories as well! :-)

  5. Whoa.
    I was defiantly taken back by this! Excellent start!

  6. First, I just have to say that I have never seen pictures like yours! I love them and the story is really interesting too. I can't wait to see what caused her to reach the point of wanting to commit suicide!

    I will be watching for updates!

  7. Bri, welcome to my blog and thank you for checking out my story! I'll take that as a compliment, being taken aback is always a good thing. :-)

  8. Hi 11Daisies, welcome to my blog and thank you for checking out my story! What a huge compliment that you love the pics, I'm so glad it stands out in some way. I'll be following "Deceived" as well, it's already bookmarked. :-)

  9. WOW! Thai is an extremely great beginning! From the moment she took off running, to watching him watch her, to her standing on the bridge questioning if she should do it, I could feel everything! I'm glad she chose not to do it. When life drops a ton of bricks on you, an angel always comes to help you up. Sometimes it isn't right away but something good comes out of the bad.

  10. Hi Qui, welcome to my blog and thank you so much for checking out my story!! I'm glad you enjoyed CH. 1 so far, and I hope it will interest you enough to keep reading. I agree, when life throws you a bunch of bricks, it can be an opportunity for change. Unfortunately, some people can't see past the bad, and they just can't see how things can get better.

    Awww, I like your angel analogy. I like to think that as well, and sometimes an unfortunate event can be a blessing in disguise.

    I'm folloing "Twisted Melody", and I must say, I'm really enjoying the story so far! You're a very talented writer, and your pics are gorgeous! I hope to get caught up soon.

  11. hates meh!~

    Poor girl=/..i swear..god dammed men/huff.

  12. Hi Edenz, welcome to my blog!! Thank you for checking out my story :-)