Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Chapter Twenty-Five (Dreaming With A Broken Heart)

Previously, on "Memoirs Of A City Girl":
Ch. 24 (Why)
-I ran into Lyn outside the Appaloosa hospital after conducting a seminar on medical malpractice.
-She fainted, but took off in her truck as soon as she recognized me.
-I followed her to the lake.
-She asked me why I slept with her sister.
-I explained that I thought she was having sex with Luke.
-I found out that she was 10 weeks pregnant but lost the baby that night I walked out.
-I tried to apologize and beg for another chance but she told me that I destroyed her heart, and she had nothing left to give.
-I followed her home, but she threatened to call the cops if I didn't leave.
-So I left.

*Sexual reference, strong language, violence*

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Location: 99 Embarcadero Drive
Date: Friday, 10/28/11
Time: 8:08 p.m.

"When you're dreaming
With a broken heart
The waking up
 Is the hardest part
You roll outta bed 
And down on your knees
And for the moment 
You can hardly breathe"

I was gonna be a dad.  As I chug my third glass of vodka, it scrapes at my throat before it burns my chest.  Slowly, the heat radiates throughout my whole body as I desperately try not to compare it to the warmth of her skin or the sunrise that begins with her smile.  How could I be so stupid?? How could I throw it all away for a piece of ass? A gust of cold wind penetrates through my coat, letting me know that fall is here.  The leaves on the trees are bursting with gold, crimson and pumpkin colors as they start to fall on the ground.  As I shake off the chill from the night air, a pang of loneliness overcomes me.  We used to take long walks in the park around this time last year, hand-in-hand.  Fall and winter were her favorite seasons.  Even though I prefer the hot summer, she loves the cold.  She believes it's the perfect time to curl up on the couch with me as we watch the fog overtake the city.  

I never really understood that until now.  I've never really felt lonely until...she was gone.  I thought I was becoming bored with being with the same person day in and day out.  I was becoming restless, the urge to experience someone, something new becoming stronger each day.  We always had a good sex life, but I started missing the chase.  I started missing the hunt.  Those moments when I meet someone new, and I don't know how they feel about me.  So I have to come up with a strategy to win them over...I wine and dine them, I find out what they need and want and I tell them what they want to hear.  Before I know it, I see the hunger and longing in their eyes.  They want me.  Bad.  I might be the one.  And when I fuck them so good, they start screaming my name, I know I got them hooked.  

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Women threw themselves at me all the time.  At the bars, at the clubs, at work, even at the gym.  I honestly don't know why.  I've had so many chances to tap new pussy but I passed up the opportunity because I loved her.  She made me happy.  She believed in me becoming a doctor, she took care of me and she took away the emptiness inside.  I envisioned her becoming my wife and the mother of my kids, but I was always afraid that I'll lose my freedom.  I just wasn't ready to be tied down, but at the same time, I liked having her in my life.  The problem was, she started questioning where our relationship was headed.  She would bring up  "marriage" and the walls would feel like they were closing in on me.  I couldn't breathe. 

She also became more demanding of my time.  She didn't understand that I had to put in a lot of hours at the hospital since I was a first year general practitioner, and she was a resident.  She had more flexibility since she was still learning the ropes at the hospital but I was trying to establish my career.  She would complain that we never saw each other, and I never made an effort to spend time with her.  Instead of greeting me with a warm hug when I come home like she used to, she would just roll her eyes in disappointment.  She wouldn't even speak to me.  And when she does, she ends up complaining.  And we would end up fighting again.  I felt like I could never do anything right, I could never do enough, and after a while, I just got sick of it.  The last thing I need when I get home after a long, tiring, sleepless day is to be nagged about the same shit.   So I started avoiding being at home.  

But when I came home and found her kissing Luke, I couldn't believe my eyes.  My own best friend, in my own home, with my girlfriend.  She complains that I'm never around but she invites another man to keep her company instead.  I knew there was something going on between them.  The way they kept stealing glances at each other that night they met, it was like I didn't even exist.  She barely moved in one month, and she was already flirting with Luke.  I guess it served me right when she caught me flirting with her sister, but still...there was something about the way they looked at each other that killed me inside.  Like she wished she was with him instead of me.  And I don't think I've ever been able to get past that.

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After I walked out on her that night, I went straight to the bar.  Liquor was the only thing that could drown out the flashbacks of what I saw.  Before I had the chance to beat Luke's ass, he already left.  My temper was on high alert that night.  The thought of him touching her and kissing her...fucking her...made my blood boil.  My so-called best friend.  If I didn't leave, I probably would have ended up saying things I would regret. Or worse...physically hurting her due to my anger.  That same night, I ran into Naveah.  She was with some other guy, but as soon as she saw me, she ditched him to sit next to me at the bar.  I always thought she was hot.  She's the kind of girl I would have nasty, animal sex with.  The kind of girl that I can call up anytime...blowjob in the car, sex in the bathroom stall at the club or a late night booty call just because I'm horny as hell.  I know she'll be there.  I know she's been wanting to fuck me since that night we met.  I could see it in her eyes, hating her sister because she found me first.

So I told her everything that happened.  That Lyn kissed my best friend, and she's been very demanding lately, almost impossible to please.  Her sister assured me that Lyn was an idiot, and she didn't know what she had: a hot doctor.  It felt good to have my ego stroked.  It's been a while since Lyn has even said anything nice to me or about me.  The things that her sister whispered in my ear: if I was hers, we would never leave the bedroom, a man like me is hard to find and how she would treat me so good, I'd never have a reason to leave.  Something about the boldness in her voice stirred something inside of me, and I found my dick needing a stroke too.  She wanted me.  She will do anything to have me.  And that's the kind of shit I missed.  

I don't know if it was the liquor making my head spin or the hungry look in her eyes, but I ended up fucking her in the men's bathroom stall.  The sight of her bent over the toilet with her skirt around her waist, moaning like a little whore while I pounded hard into her from behind, just fueled the madness in me.  Hell yeah, that felt good.  No strings, no attachment.  Just straight fucking.  I took all of my frustrations out on her body and she just took it.  At one point, I rammed into her so hard, she was crying out in pain but that just made me hold on to her hips even tighter.  Just when I was getting ready to come, she got on her knees, took the condom out and took every drop of me in her mouth.  I knew I had to see her again.

Huh.  I thought I had the upper hand.  I thought I was getting back at Lyn for hurting me.  I thought fucking her sister would be the best revenge, and it would make me feel better, but nothing could have prepared me for the anguish in her eyes when she caught us in bed.  Everything that we shared during the last two years crumbled right in front of me, and I knew I fucked it up.  Now here I am, all alone.  She's gone, but she's still everywhere in this condo.  Her clothes are still in the closet.  Her flip-flops are still sitting out on the balcony next to the hot tub.  Her make-up and toiletries are still on top of the bathroom vanity, untouched.  Her favorite ice cream, butter pecan, is still in the freezer.  Worst of all, I can still smell her every night.  Her sweet scent lingers on the sheets and pillows, stirring an aching need to hold her soft body once again.  She's gone.  God, I fucking miss her. 

"Wondering 

Was she really here?
Is she standing

In my room?
No she's not,

'Cause she's gone,
Gone, gone, gone, gone"


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I didn't know what else to do, so I called Luke.  I didn't know who else to talk to.  The guilt and regret was just killing me inside.  Looking back now, what he did with Lyn was nothing compared to what I did with her sister.  I wish I can turn back time and change what I did, but the damage has already been done.  I've been comforting myself with liquor all week, but even that can't numb the pent up emotions I've been holding inside.  Lyn once told me that all I had to do was talk to her when we were having problems, but I didn't listen.  She might still be here today.  Instead, I stormed off, got drunk at a bar and ended up screwing her sister out of spite.  Twice.

"Hey, man..." 

"Hey, Brad." 

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It's been over a week since I last saw Luke.  Since that night I caught him kissing Lyn, I wrote him off, never wanting anything to do with him again.  Even though I was already having problems with her, I still wanted to blame someone.  And he was the perfect scapegoat for the things that went wrong in our relationship.  But now that he's here, sitting across me, I'm reminded of what a good friend he's always been.  When my dad would get pissed drunk, he would take his anger out on my mom, calling her a bitch, a whore and all of the foul names in the book.  He also hit her.  I would take J.C. in my room and hide while Luke stays on the phone until I stopped crying.  When my mom finally had enough and left my dad for another man when I was 10, he would take his anger out on me and J.C.. Luke's parents finally called the cops and took us in until he was released from jail.  When I blamed myself for failing to protect my mom, he assured me that it wasn't my fault, even though it felt like she abandoned us. 

I've been waiting for her to come back but she never did.  And since she left, my once fragile heart has hardened over the years.  She took that little boy with her, along with his trust and faith in women.

"Everything alright?" Luke's voice brings me back to the present, his face full of concern.

"Yeah..." I sigh, overcome with shame over what I've done.  

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"Look...I'm really sorry about what happened.  I was way out of line and I was wrong for that.  " He nervously looks me in the eyes.

"It's okay, man.  It doesn't matter anyway."

"Why do you say that?"

"It's over."

"Wait...you guys broke up?" 

"Yeah..."

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"What happened?"

"I slept with someone else." Hearing the words come out of my mouth stings even more, making it a reality.

"What??" He narrows his eyes in disbelief.

"It's just...we were having problems and it seemed like nothing I did was enough. It was like she wasn't happy anymore."

"So you cheat on her? You couldn't even try to talk to her about it??"

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"Well, it was that night I saw you guys kissing.  I thought you were sleeping together."

"Look, Brad.  I never slept with her, I told you that.  We kissed, that was it.  I stopped myself because you're my best friend.  What I did was wrong, I admit that."

"I know.  She told me that too.  But I still didn't believe it."

"Where is she now?"

"She's in Appaloosa Plains.  I ran into her a few days ago. "

"What is she doing there?"

".............."

"Brad, what's going on, man??"

"When she caught me with her sister----"

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"What?? Her sister?!!" He jumps off the couch so fast, I don't even have time to blink.

"I made a mistake, alright?"

"What the fuck is wrong with you?? You fucked her sister?!!"


"Hey, at least she gave me the attention I needed!!"

"You know what, bro?? If Lyn was any other broad that you usually date, I wouldn't care.  But she doesn't deserve that, I don't care what she's done to you!!"

"Of course you're gonna take her side! Now's your chance to hook up with her!!"

"Do you really think I'm that sleazy?? To go after a woman that you just screwed over?!"

"Like it stopped you before??"

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"Fuck you!!" His eyes burn with red-hot rage as he lunges towards me.

The next thing I know, my back hits the wooden floor.  I try to escape his hold, but he presses his weight on my stomach, making it hard for me to breathe.  The sight of his clenched fist heading towards my face makes my pulse race.  I can hear my cheekbone pop as it absorbs the force from his hand.  Before the pain registers, he bombards me with merciless strikes to my neck, nose, head, stomach and liver.  I can feel warm blood oozing down my nose as I absorb every sharp blow to my body, making me cry out in agony.

"You motherfucker, you don't deserve her!!" He growls as he grips my neck with both hands, causing me to suffocate.  Panic starts to set in as I struggle to breathe.

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"Get up!! I'm not done with your ass!!" He pulls me up from the ground, turns me around and delivers a gruesome blow to my eye.  When my face hits the the floor, he puts me in a chokehold from behind while his legs control my waist, keeping me motionless.  As he pulls me down on top of him, he tightens his grip on my neck, taking away my ability to breathe.  I try to pry his arms off me but he's too strong.  I can feel my airway closing in.  The room becomes blurry.  I am on the brink of passing out.

"L-Luke...y-y-you're choking m-me..." I use every bit of strength I have left to force those weak words out of my mouth.

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When he finally lets me go, I desperately gulp down as much air as I can.  I clutch at my throat as my coughs subside.  If he held on a few seconds longer, he would have chocked me to death.

"I should have killed your sorry ass!!" He screams, his voice echoing throughout the living room.

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"Where is she?!!" 

"I already told you!"

"No, where does she live??"

"I don't know!"

"Don't lie to me, asshole, unless you want me to break your neck!!"

"Okay, okay!"

"Get your ass up and write it down!!" 

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After I quickly write down Lyn's address on a piece of paper, I see him heading in Nikki's direction.  What is he up to now?

"What are you doing??" I yell out behind him as I struggle to walk.  My face feels like raw meat that's been jackhammered, and it hurts just to blink.

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"Hey, baby girl!  I'm gonna take you to your mom, okay?" He murmurs as she lovingly kisses his face.  

"No, you can't do that! She's all I have!!" I panic, feeling even more pissed at him for taking away the only living remnant of Lyn.  First he goes after my woman, then beats me up, and now he's taking my dog too??

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"Please, Luke.  Don't take her from me." I beg, trying to extract any compassion left in his eyes.

"Let me ask you this.  Did she tell you that she was moving to Appaloosa?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"She just ran out."

"She ran out when she caught you fucking her sister, right?"

"............."

"So let me get this straight.  You didn't know where she was for over a week.  Something could have happened to her.  She's in some strange town all by herself because of you. You didn't even care enough to tell me so I could have looked for her.  And all you're worried about is keeping her dog??"

"She doesn't want anything to do with me."

"What, you wanted her to thank you for screwing her sister??"

"Oh man...I messed up..."

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"If you really love her, you'll leave her alone.  If it's meant to be, she'll come back to you.  But you need to let her figure that out for herself." He advices calmly.

"But how am I gonna live without her? I need her, Luke!!"

"Now you know how I feel."

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"Do I have to fall asleep
With roses in my hand?
Do I have to fall asleep

With roses in my hand?
Baby won't you get them

If I did?
No you won't 

'Cause you're gone
Gone, gone, gone, gone"


Watching Nikki walk away with Luke just tears my heart apart.  She was the only thing that gave me hope of Lyn coming back.  But now he's taking MY dog to see MY woman!! Is he going to take what was once mine?  Is he going to spend the night? Are they going to sleep together? Just the thought of him making her moan in pleasure makes me sick to my stomach.  The happiness that I once held in my hands is now dissipating along with the sound of the elevator door opening.  

"Nikki!!" I drop to the floor, watching my whole world collapse in front me.  

What have I done?? 


*Copyright 2012 Lyn C.S.*
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Author's Note:
I have to give a special thanks to Aussie Karima for her wonderful and uncanny insight into Brad's psyche.  She inspired me to write this chapter from his point of view, and it really set the tone for his confrontation with Luke ;-)

*Ch. 3 (Confessions) in "Heat" covers Luke's point of view.

"Dreaming With A Broken Heart" by John Mayer

Video by: kickinyounow

42 comments:

  1. I'm glad Luke kicked Brad's ass. Part of me would like to them to get back together but sometimes it's just for the best.

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    1. Hi Lckygrl, welcome to my blog!! Thank you for checking out my story. Haha I figured Brad deserved a good beat down, I didn't expect Luke to do it so well. lol Wow, you kind of want them to get back together? Brad must have garnered your sympathy in this chapter. I don't blame you one bit. It seems like he didn't realize now much she meant to him until she was gone.

      But I agree, things happen for a reason. If Brad had had less ego and put in more effort, they would still be together.

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  2. Happy to see Luke whoop that ass and take the dog too! Leave that scum writhing in the pain he deserves.

    Though I didn't want to hear anything from his mouth, this chapter was very well put together and well written. His pain is obvious and deep but he caused it to himself and deserves it all.

    It sounds as though he really cared but...I can't sympathize with him. He saw what he had and still literally fucked her over.

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    1. WOW, Daijah!! This is the shortest comment you ever left!! Is everything okay?? Do I need to take your temperature?? But I think I know why you didn't have as many words to share this time. The fact that this was coming from Brad's point of view, you almost didn't want to read it, especially knowing how you feel about him. lol I know you enjoyed watching him getting his ass beat by Luke!! This was for you, girly! xD

      Thank you so much for the kind words about this chapter, it took me almost 7 hours to write. I pretty much stayed up til 3 before I could post it. lol It was tough switching to another point of view, let alone a guy. Even though Karima's insight made it easier for me to share what was in his mind, it was still challenging to put it all together. So that means a lot to me that you thought it stil came out well-written. I had to get into Brad's head, and I had spurts of writers' block. lol

      Haha he almost got to you, didn't he?? That fact that you thought he really cared about her then stopped yourself, he almost made you forgot that you hate his guts. xD Even as I was writing this chapter, I felt bad for him. I almost believed he didnt know any better...almost. But you're right, he knew what he had and still fucked her over. Twice. :O

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    2. Yeah I've been a little...off lately. I would have said more, I'm sure I wanted to but :-/

      I enjoyed it just the same. It's not that I didn't like the POV or the asshole talking just not myself. Funny how the length of the comment made you ask :P

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    3. Okay, we need to talk on YM. Let me just finish responding to comments and I'll hit you up. Hope everything's okay!

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  3. So glad Luke kicked his ass! That sorry no good piece of shit slept with her twice. It was bad enough he did it in the bathroom stall ,which is gross and totally proves what kind of a skank her sister is, but he took it a whole step further bringing her home and doing her in their house. There is no forgiving those actions.

    He was being closed in, needed to know he was still wanted...bullshit! You have a woman at home that was crying out for your attention and you ignored her. All he had to do was talk but he refused. He jumped to assumptions quickly because he wanted an excuse. Seeing them kiss was his open door invitation to do what he had been wanting to do. He didn't believe her because he didn't want to.

    UGH!!!!! Lyn and Luke were wrong but at least they knew where to stop. They had an attraction, sometimes you can't help that, but she loved Brad.

    I loved this chapter! Can't wait to see Luke and Lyn together.

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    1. Haha I figured you would enjoy that beatdown by Luke!! I know, I can't believe he slept with her twice either! While Lyn was having a miscarriage, he was screwing her sister in the bathroom stall. That what I saw as I imagined what he remembered that night he walked out on her, and that explains how Naveah ended up at their place the next day. Yes, he was drunk, but still...twice?? Once may be a mistake, but twice?? I agree, there's no forgiving that.

      LOL so you don't buy his fear of commitment and feeling unwanted reasoning? I agree, Lyn was around and she made many attempts to get more of his time, but he ignored her. He still continued to stand her up. You may be right. Maybe he's been dying to hook up with someone new and he was just waiting for an excuse. Like Lyn messing up first. As soon as he saw that, he jumped at the chance to screw her sister. He justified his actions by believing that Lyn was already sleeping with Luke. And the fact that he slept with her again the next day shows that he had the intention of doing it again. He just got caught.

      Sorry to get you so upset, Jaz! lol I agree, Lyn and Luke's kiss drove Brad to sleep with someone else but they still had enough self-control and consideration for Brad to stop before it went further. She could have easily slept with Luke, but she didn't, because she was still in love with Brad.

      Thank you, I'm so glad you enjoyed this chapter! Ch. 26 will be Luke's visit to Appaloosa Plains :-)

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  4. Whoop there it is! Let me hear you say! Whoop there it is!
    Renewed better respect for Luke! Whoop...
    This was intense!
    I honestly only read what Luke said. I just didn't care what the fucker had to say. No one does, that I know for a fact. Whoop...

    Luke beat tha shit out of that little shit! And took the dog!
    This chapter was a good one for my morning!

    Whoop there it is!

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    1. OMG, did you just say Whoop there it is?? Jean-Marie, you are seriously cracking me up!! xD You and Daijah, I swear! After she saw Naveah getting a beatdown by Lyn, she was all, Whoop that trick! Whoop that trick! lol Great minds think alike, huh? Yeah, Luke pounded him. I didn't know Luke had it in him, but I have more respect for him as well.

      LOL I swear, both you and Daijah also didn't want to hear from Brad. I don't blame you guys, especially after what he did. And finding out that he slept with her sister twice. Yeah, twice hardly doesn't count as a mistake anymore, buddy! xD

      Oh yes he did! He beat the shit out of him and took the dog. Just like that. :-) When Superman wants justice, he doesn't play around. lol

      I'm glad this chapter made your morning a good one! Nothing like waking up to a well-deserved beatdown. Haha!

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  5. "What the fuck is wrong with you?? You fucked her sister?!!"

    Yup, I like Luke. Voice of reason, that one. And when Brad refuses to listen to reason, I like that Luke isn't afraid to beat the shit out of him. Don't mess with a noble firefighter, bro.

    As much as I dislike Brad, I did like the chance to get inside his head a bit. I can totally understand the stress of being a doctor, and I can get being a little commitment shy. But neither of those things excuses cheating on your girlfriend instead of, say, talking it out? Tsk, tsk.

    Ugh. And calling Luke to join in his little pity party was such a dumb idea. What did he think, that Luke would tell him it's cool, it's all Lyn's fault? Oh, Brad. Luke is a generally good guy and a good friend -- but he isn't going to condone that. But taking the dog and giving it back to Lyn? I can't even handle how much I love Luke.

    Oh, and I love the way this story is overlapping with Heat. Can't wait for the next chapter of Heat to find out how Luke is dealing with all this!

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    1. Bahahaha!! I was worried about all the f-bombs in this chapter, but Luke was really pissed off. I mean, livid. That was the only way he could get his point across, by cussing him out and beating his ass. lol Here he was trying to do the right thing but leaving Lyn alone and feeling bad for kissing her, and he finds out that Brad screwed her sister. And he still tried to justify it!!

      LOL voice of reason. Besides Lyn, he's the only other person to tell him that what he did was wrong. I even felt bad that Luke beat him up, bad, but how else was Brad going to have a concept of the consequences? Luke had to stand his ground and let him know that what Brad did was wrong. On top of his frustration that he cheated on the woman that he secretly loved. With the sister! That's right, don't mess with a noble firefighter, bro. lol

      I agree, it was interesting to finally get inside Brad's head. Throughout the story, it's always been Lyn's perspective and how she sees him, but we never got to see how he saw things. So I thought this was his chance to show himself...and maybe even redeem himself. But yeah, there's no excuse for cheating. If you can't talk it out, it's time to move on.

      Haha I think he really thought that Luke was going to be more supportive and maybe even help him win Lyn back. Little did he know that Luke cares more about Lyn than he let on, and what Brad did really struck a nerve. Yeah, he sure did take the dog to give back to her! Just like that. Awww, you're so cute! You're not the only one that loves him. The more I get to know him, the more dreamy he becomes. Sometimes I even fantasize about him. lol Shhhh don't tell hubby that! xD

      Yay, I'm so glad you don't mind the overlap. I wanted to try something different, and I thought this was a way to show how the characters know each other between stories. I also like being able to show different POV's, and how it can change the tone of the story. You'll find out tomorrow how Luke deals with all this! :-)

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  6. GO LUKE!!! :D Brad TOTALLY deserved getting the crap beat out of him. Ugh. I almost started to feel bad for Brad, because I think he truly feels sorry for what he did. But when he started thinking about how everything happened with Lyn's sister... no way. No pity from me. My ex did that to me (not with my sister, thank God), and I don't care what the excuse is,, talk it out, and if you can't talk it out, break up if you wanna do crap like that. I really don't know how Brad saw the situation playing out any other way.

    But yes. I think I'm in love with Luke.

    --Ali

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    1. Hahaa I know, right?? GO LUKE!!! I'm such a biased writer. lol I try to be objective when it comes to the characters, but sometimes you just want justice. But I still felt bad when Brad got his ass whooped. I mean, Luke really didnt have to do that, to that degree, but maybe that was the only way Brad felt the consequence of his actions besides losing Lyn. At least he knows Luke won't stand for it, not this time.

      I know what you mean. I really sympathized with his fears, and his childhood, and even his regret that Lyn is gone. But when he started thinking about how he hooked up with Naveah, and he actually enjoyed having sex wtih her. It was if he's been holding his desires in for a whle, and he was finally relieved to get it out of his system. He only felt bad when he got caught and Lyn didn't want anything to do with him. But when he was in that moment, he didn't seem too remorseful.

      I'm so sorry to hear that your ex cheated on you, Ali. :-( How did you find out? Ughh...did you catch him in the act?? Asshole! The good thing is that you found a good man who loves you and you don't have to worry about that happening again. If anything good can come out of cheating, I guess it's learning to avoid that type of person again and watching for red flags before things get worse.

      I soooo agree, if you can't work it our or talk it out, break up before you sample new meat. At least give that person the courtesy. But I guess some people like the attention and drama, and for some, it makes it more exciting when something's forbidden. Brad definitely didn't think this out out through. lol He got his ass beat. xD

      Haha you're so cute, falling in love with Luke. Ahhh Luke. Join the "I love Luke" club because I'm sure in it. Hot firefighter that saves lives and kicks ass?? Mother, may I??

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    2. I'm sure it's hard not to be biased when you're writing. I definitely would be! I agree, Luke was a bit harsh, but I really appreciate that he is a guy who actually stands up for his beliefs. He's not just talk, that's for sure.

      I didn't catch him in the act. To this day, he still denies that anything happened, but you can tell when a girl has been with a guy, and she starts acting all different. That happened a lot, and whenever I confronted him, they were "just friends." Sorry, but "friends" don't spend the night at your house and "hang out" until 3 in the morning. Lol, reading that, I sound paranoid, but there was some pretty solid proof with multiple girls. Anyway, it was in high school, and the year or so after. I got out of it the same way Lyn did. I moved across the country. But that's how I met my current boyfriend, so everything happens for a reason. :)

      If I start a fire in my apartment tonight, what are the chances that Luke would come to put it out? xD

      --Ali

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    3. Wait, what?? He would spend the night at his "friend's" house and hang out until 3 in the morning?? Okay, seriously, you don't do that unless you're trying to hook up, you already hooked up or you're in denial about your feelings for another person. NO, you don't sound paranoid at all. Just suspicious that you man would have the need to spend that much time with another girl.

      And with multiple girls?? What a jerk-off!! You didn't need proof, Ali. It was all in his actions and inconsistencies. A faithful boyfriend will act faithful and a cheating boyfriend will act like he's cheating. Plain and simple. Seriously, how hard is it to just be honest and admit that you want to see other people? Ughh!! I think you made the best decision by moving away from him because not only did you not have to deal with his bullshit, but you also found your current boyfriend, who is crazy about you. HOw long did you wait before you felt ready to date and trust again? I agree, things happen for a reason.

      Bahaha if I was Luke's boss, I'd send him to all the ladies who request him. No need for a fire, he can just be there to keep you company. Shirtless. ;-)

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    4. Haha, yeah, my ex and Brad would be good friends.

      Well, funny thing was, I moved to FL and was there for about 6 months just living the single life. It was nice. My ex actually tried to come and visit me, and I refused to see him. He stayed in a hotel room for a week by himself, didn't even go to the beach or anything. Heh. I thought it was pretty funny.

      Anyway. It was about six months before I started dating my current bf. We were friends for a couple months before we started dating. It took me a few months to feel completely comfortable with him. I was always paranoid at first, checking his phone and computer and stuff. I finally realized he was nothing like my ex, and that I didn't need to worry. :) It was so relieving not always having to worry.

      --Ali

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    5. Bahaha that's a shame. To have cheating in common. Oh, wow, you moved to FL? What part? I'm about 80 miles away from Jacksonville. So I take it you moved back to your hometown with your BF since you were only in FL for 6 months?

      OMG, did he not think it all the way through?? He cheated on you, what did he think was going to happen? You were going to take him back and show him around? xD Hah! At least he was miserable. He deserves to be alone in a hotel room for a week. lol

      Awwww, so guys were friends first? That's always a great way to start a relationship. You get to know and respect each other first before you get involved. Although it does get hard when you start liking each other and you try to get past the sexual tension. lol And you start wondering if it's worth risking the friendship. Haha I don't blame you for being paranoid. But at least you realized that your BF is nothing like your ex, and you have a good man. I'm glad it worked out for you in the end, Ali! :-)

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    6. I was actually in FL for about a year and a half. I lived in Ft. Lauderdale. :) But yup my boyfriend moved with me. :D

      Yeah, it is harder to date friends. I've done it in the past and it never worked out, so I'm not sure why I tried it again, but... it can happen. :D

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    7. Ooooh Ft. Lauderdale?? Nice!! I've been there a few times, it's beautiful!! I've always wanted to live by the beach. Sighhh...someday. That's funny how you moved to FL to get away from your ex but you came back a new man. xD You go girl!

      You know what they say, opposite sex friends are just people you haven't slept with yet. lol

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  7. Yay! New chapter! I really enjoyed this chapter, Brad is an idiot, she needs to move on. Classes start up again today, so it was nice to read this chapter before I went to class. How was your weekend, Tommiegirl?

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    1. Haha I love your enthusiasm, it's always gets me pumped!! I'm glad you enjoyed this chapter! I agree, even when we have a chance to get inside Brad's head, he still doesn't get it. He stil doesn't see his full responsibility in the situation and what Lyn is going through. Maybe in time, he will. But at least she's not around to find out anymore.

      How as your first day back this semester? Were you able to wake up early again? lol It usually takes me a week to get used to getting up early again. The first day days, I'm like a zombie. lol Awww, that's awesome to hear that you read this chapter before class! It definitely puts a smile on my face. :-)

      My weekend was good, just stayed in and relaxed. It was nice to have the MLK holiday. But it still went too fast. lol What about you? What did you do?

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  8. It was interesting to see in brads mind. How his own mother left them how his father was, etc. It made him want to be a womans man,but not be committed. I can see how he felt the weight of a commitment weighing him down, but i can't see is why he could not talk to her about it. How he had to find anyone even her sister, that would make him feel like he was wanted, like he had to be pampered, He needs to realize that so do women. He needs to truely find himself, and then see where it leads. I am glad to see that Luke went over as a friend, but also see that he defended her as his friend. I loved how luke says as he leaves, now you know how i feel. That was so perfect.
    But then All BRAD could think of as he left was he is going after my woman, my dog, my my mine. Brad is still not seeing that he was the one that did the most wrong, he was the one that caused all this to blow up in his face.

    The interesting part, will be how will Luke handle it, when he takes her the dog, will he show his loves, or will he only show her his friendship. Can't wait to see what happens next.

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    1. I agree, even writing from his POV, on top of trying to think like a guy, threw me for a loop. lol I was so used to writing from Lyn's POV, and it's easy since it's coming from my own head, but I think it took my an hour just to write the first five paragraphs. lol It was definitley an eye-opener, and it also kind of changed the way I see him. I still hate what he did, but I can understand where he is coming from. His mom leaving definitely affected him, on top of an abusive father and that may be why he's insensitive when it comes to other people's needs.

      I agree, how hard is it for him to just talk to her about his concerns? But then again, maybe he didn't know how. Ack, what am I saying? He's had plenty of chance and he didn't use them. He's been attracted to Naveah and jumped at the first chance to hook up with her. I understand that he missed having his ego stroked, but it goes both ways. Women have needs too.

      You are right, he does need to find himself. His issues are deep-rooted, and until he deals wtih them, he's going to end up with the same patterns. Luke was in a precarious position: trying to be there for Brad but at the same time defending Lyn's honor. I think Luke's reaction was very telling about his feelings for Lyn. He cares more about her than he lets on. His advice for Brad about leaving Lyn alone stemmed from his own feelings for her. Awww, I' glad you love that part, thank you! :-) He spent the last two years pining for her but he couldn't have her, but hoping one day he might have a chance.

      I'm just as anxious as you are about what Luke is going to do once he sees her. I'm pretty sure a lot of his feelinsg will resurface again. And with their attraction for each other, it will be interesting to see if they can resist temptation. :-)

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  9. Oh my gosh Lyn Chapter 25 of Memoirs the ultimate payback Luke beating Brad up and taking the dog away. That had to be your best chapter yet of your story. keep up the good work can't wait to hear more. Talk to ya agian soon Wild Thang.

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  10. Hi Tom, I agree Ch. 25 was the ultimate payback for Brad. lol Luke not only gave him a beatdown, but he also took Nikki. xD Wow, so you think this was my best chapter so far?? Thank you so much for the kind words and your support, that means a lot to me. This was a challenging chapter to write, it took me a while to finish it. Switching to Brad's POV on top of getting inside the mind of a man. lol Definitely not easy. xD But it was definitely refreshing.

    Is it still snowing where you are? Ughhh its getting warmer here again. I wish it would stay cold!!

    Haha why do I always giggle when you call me wild thang?? xD

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  11. ;D If she has sex in men's toilet stalls then maybe Brads little man will shrivel up & drop off,if she is not fussed about were she does it,then she also would not be fussed about who!
    ~ I was cheering Luke on to beat his a$$ & wipe the floor with it,but he saw red,after Brad told Luke who she caught him with,& nearly killed him,because he hurt her so,just wait till he finds out about the baby!!!!!!!!Brad had better hide,Firemen have to work out for their job,were as Doctors do more sitting & using their mind,& do not have the time for the amount of gym work Luke needs for his job!
    ~ See Luke is good for her already,she is getting her Nikki back,he will take her to her new home & it will also help Lyn to heal,to have her back again,& she will not feel so alone with her around!
    ~ It was hard for Luke, he has know Brad & been through his worst moments with him,he has been his friend for so long,but at the same time this is the first time that Brad has had a serious relationship,it was this friendship over a long time that stopped him from going any further with Lyn,the one that has stolen his heart but belonged with his best mate!
    ~ I am sure he was hoping Brad had changed,that it was true love,for Brad,but after this he will have no respect for him,Luke will not look back!
    ~ I hope everything works out for all involved
    ~ Brad needs to really look deep inside himself to figure out what he can do to improve his outlook on life other wise if he tries again to have a serious relationship it will end with him straying again,as his ego needs it,that excitement of a new conquest!
    ~ Luke on the other hand is the stable one out of the two men,now all he has to do is let Lyn heal,& to help her to heal as her friend,but he will have to sit down & explain all this to her as she will want to be comforted in other was,& that will only give her doubts to a long term relationship with Luke,is he just like Brad? will he treat me just like Brad did!?
    ~ See what you did Lyn,I am treating your fictional characters like real people,very well done!BRAVO!
    ~ Loved it can not wait for Luke's POV!(",)

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    1. Eeeeek!! Just seeing your long comment made me squeal, since I know you always have good insight on the characters. lol Where do I beging?? Haha I agree, if Naveah's willing to have sex in a public bathroom, and to do what she did at the end, this probably isn't her first time. Unless...she just wanted Brad so bad that she couldn't help herself. But still, she could have used some restraint. There's a reason why Brad thinks she's just a booty-call girl. If you're gonna act like a tramp, you're gonna get treated like one. Then again, what does that say about Brad? He slept with her, so yeah, he's as slutty as she is. And if catches something, he has no one else to blame.

      Hahaha I don't blame you for cheering Luke on!! A lot of people did, and even though I felt bad for Brad, it seemed justified. I think Luke's rage stemmed from a deeper place, the same as Lyn's when she beat her sister's ass, and I can only imagine how he'll react when he founds out she lost the baby and nearly killed herself. You're right, firefighters have to stay in pristine shape since they always have to be ready for an emergency, but doctors spend most of their time doing paperwork. Even though Brad is in good shape, he's nowhere near as strong as Luke. And you can tell Luke knows how to fight.

      I agree, Nikki's presence will help with Lyn's loneliness, and at least she'll have her beloved dog to keep her company. Yes, I can imagine how tough it was for Luke to try to be there for his best friend but at the same time, having to defend Lyn's honor, the woman he loves. But in the end, what Brad did was just unforgivable. Not only did he not appreciate Lyn but he also disrespected her by cheating on her with her sister, and still had the nerve to justify it. The whole time, Luke felt awful for kissing Lyn and even sacrificed his own happiness to do the right thing, and the whole time, Brad was screwing around. That really pissed him off.

      I agree, Brad needs to do some serious soul-searching to figure out why he is the way he is. He obviously has some deep-rooted issues with his parents, and that has shaped his outlook on women and relationship. Like you said, if he doesn't confront his issues, he will repeat the same patter in future relationships. His ego stemms from his abandonment issues, feeling unwanted by his mother, and he's been trying to fill that void with sex. On top of his low self-esteem by his abusive father, his hunger for praise is almost insatiable.

      I agree, Luke is the stable one out of the two men. He had a stable upbringing, and being brought up by parents who love each other, he has a better grasp of what people need. I mean, what they truly need. He can see past the b.s. It will be natural for Lyn to question Luke's intentions, but I think he will understand her enough to know how to make her feel at ease.

      Awwwwww, thank you so much for the kind words, Karima!! Your insight into my characters actually inspired me to dig even deeper to find out who they are, what really makes them tick, especially Brad and Luke. Even though I know they're fictional, but they feel so real in my head, and sometimes I wonder if they really exist somewhere out there. So it really excites me to know that they feel real to you too. :-)

      Ch. 3 in Heat will be ready tonight, so you'll see Luke's POV. xD

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  12. Highlight of this is that Brad got his ass handed to him! He almost got an ounce of sympathy from me when he was going over what he was feeling but like a true selfish person, all he would see was his own her from a situation he assumed he knew fully.

    I'm glad Luke ripped into him but I hope that isn't going to give him reasons to see Lyn...Nikki. Luke is right, she needs time to heal and decide if she is going to forgive or forget. If you're taking suggestions, I say she should beat her sister down again then think about it.

    Glad Luke is going to see her. She could use a friend.

    "But how am I gonna live without her? I need her, Luke!!"

    "Now you know how I feel."

    His Luke confessing feelings here? GRINS!

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    1. Haha Qui, I know, his ass sure did get handed to him! Luke nearly killed him, he was so pissed!! As despicable as Brad is, I actually feel sorry for him. I think it just makes me sad that he doesn't really see the cause of his actions and he doesn't grasp how much he really hurt Lyn. Sure, he regrets losing her but I don't think he'll really understand what he did until she moves on and falls in love with someone new. And when he goes through many women and still feel empty inside, and keep comparing them t her, that's when it will hit him that he had someone that really loved him. But he was too stupid to see it.

      Knowing Brad and his love for a challenge, I wouldn't be surprised if he pays her a visit. But if he really listened to Luke and if he really does care about her, he'll leave her alone. That will show that he's thinking about her needs for once, and it can always about what he wants. Haha well, there's still that confrontation with her family. So if she visits Bridgeport and visits her family, there might be a Showdown #2. xD

      Hehe..yeah, that was Luke hinting at how he feels about Lyn. Now that Brad screwed it up and she's single, its fair game. xD Screw the guy code, Brad boned her sister!!

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  13. Brad had it coming, he deserved every single minute of it, I'm glad Luke did it, and I'm not feeling a lot of sympathy for Brad even though he thinks he cared. That's some strange way to care about someone.

    And he took Nikki~ GOOD.

    Really well written. You used first person with Brad in such an intense moment but you definitely pulled it off!

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    1. You're right, that is a strange way to care about someone. To assume that Lyn is sleeping with Luke, then jump at the chance to sleep with her sister and finally feel remorse when she didn't want anything to do with him. I think he loves her but he just didn't know what he had. It was all about his ego and what she can do for him. But it didn't occur to him that it goes both ways. He's screwed up, and he will need to do some soul-searching before he truly understands his responsibility in the demise of the relationship.

      Thank you, this chapter was tough to write. Switching from Lyn's POV to Brad's in first person was a challenge. lol It's not easy to get inside a mind of a man, especially Brad's. But I'm so glad it worked out in the end. :-)

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  14. I don't feel sorry for Brad one bit! If he would have came home to her more often she would have been the one stroking his ego, but no that wasn't enough for him.

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    1. That's true, if he made more of an effort to spend time with her, she would have been happy to take care of his needs. I can see where he's coming from, but at the same time, there was no need to cheat out of spite.

      So many misunderstandings and missed chances. Hopefully he'll learn from this experience if he wants a chance at being happy with someone new. But I have a feeling it's going to be a lot harder for him to let Lyn go.

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  15. Wow that chapter was amazing. I could really feel the pain that Brad was feeling, but he's a fool! He's lost the best thing he ever had in his life and its his own fault.
    He must be beating himself up pretty hard.

    How have you been tommiegirl? Sorry I haven't been posting in a while.

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    1. Thanks Ayemee, I'm glad you enjoyed it!! LOL Brad garnered a bit of sympathy in the beginning but when he didn't get much of it towards the end when he still tried to justify his actions to Luke. On top of provoking him. I agree, he lost the best thing he's ever had in his life, and it's a shame that he didn't appreciate her when he had her. I don't think it will really hit him until he goes through women, and finds himself comparing them to Lyn. And by the time he realizes that, she's already moved on.

      I've been doing well, just enjoying the cold weather. lol What about you? How are your classes going? Have you been working on an update? No worries, I'm always happy to see you back. :-)

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  16. I messed up on the first one!

    This was an awesome update!!!

    I still feel no sympathy for Brad. I was cheering Luke on with every punch!
    Brad is immature and wasn't ready for a serious relationship with one woman. He really screwed up. Some things that you do wrong, you just cannot repair!

    Even if Lynn forgives him, I hope that she doesn't go back to him. Luke needs to give Lynn time to heal which I am sure that he will do. Of course, you can probably see that I want Luke and Lynn together!

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    1. LOL I deleted it for you, so it's like it never even existed :-) Thank you Daisies, I'm so glad you enjoyed this chapter!! This was a tough one to write since it was my first time writing from Brad's POV, on top of trying to get inside the mind of a man. xD It was weird, but at the same time, it was really interesting and brought a lot of things in perspective. I even felt bad for Brad, knowing he had a rough childhood, and it just seems like he doesn't know any better.

      Haha I don't blame you for cheering Luke on and no buying Brad's side of the story. What he did was pretty scummy, and you'd have to be a saint to forgive that. I agre, he is immature and he has a lot of growing up/soul-searching to do. He screwed up big time. He wasn't ready to be tied down with one woman, but he could have at least talked to Lyn about it. They could have ended things properly, and she would not have ended up running off to AP.

      If Lyn does forgive him and consider getting back with him, I hope it will be because he's really changed. But with a guy like Luke around, who's just waiting for a chance, she's have to be blind not to see what's in front of her. Awwww, so you're rooting for Lyn and Luke?? Who would have thought that there would be a possibility between these two? :-)

      Thanks for reading, Daisies!

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  17. "But how am I gonna live without her? I need her, Luke!!"

    "Now you know how I feel."

    Awww...I hope Luke gets the girl finally...although part of me REALLY wants Lyn to date some of the AP boys.

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    1. Haha so you want Lyn to date around and try out the AP boys? I have a feeling it's going to be a while before she'll be ready feel ready to get involved again. Well, there's still David and Ben after Luke leaves. xD

      Thanks for reading, Lauren!

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