Ch. 25 (Dreaming With A Broken Heart)
-Lyn's absence affected Brad greatly, making him turn to liquor for comfort.
-He didn't feel lonely until he found himself alone in the condo, with remnants of her still everywhere.
-He loved Lyn but he was becoming restless, his need for novelty hampering his ability to stay committed.
-He believed that she became too demanding of his time, and no matter what he did, she didn't seem happy.
-That day that he caught her kissing Luke led to him have sex with Naveah in the bathroom stall of a bar.
-He invited Luke over and told him what happened.
-Instead, Luke was so enraged that he nearly killed him.
-Luke decided to take Nikki back to Lyn, leaving Brad to writhe in pain, all by himself.
*Strong language*
Location: 1012 Pomona Promenade
Date: Saturday, 10/29/11
Time: 11:11 a.m.
As I browse for job positions online, there are only two available at the local hospital: clerical and Certified Nurse Assistant. I know I can't be too picky at this point, but neither of those positions are very appealing to me right now. With my current savings, I'll be able to take care of the mortgage and bills for the next six months, but I also know I need to start working soon. Before running into Brad a few days ago, I had a small glimmer of hope that my stay in Appaloosa will only be temporary. But after the vivid flashbacks of what he and my sister did, Bridgeport is not an option anymore. I need to give this city a chance. I need to start building a life here. I need to find a new purpose besides being in a relationship with a guy, hoping he'll bring me happiness. I found that, and look where it got me.
Then I get this crazy idea. What if I try something different? What if I explore another career? Something tells me to visit the Appaloosa Plains School District website, just for the heck of it. I've never taught in my life, nor am I certified to teach a subject, but I do know that I love helping children. I have worked with them before in the children's unit, and it warms my heart when I can put a smile on their face, or when I'm able to take their pain away. I remember the sparkle in David's eyes when he talked about becoming a teacher. Maybe I can have that same passion. Hmm...David. I wonder how he's doing? I was such a bitch to him last time.
To my surprise, there is one instructional position available at Appaloosa Plains Public School. They're looking for a Science teacher to teach at the high school level. High school? Are you kidding me?? They'll eat me alive! I can already see them now: hormonal smartasses with attitude for days. It also appears that the position has been open for over two months now. What happened? Why would a teacher leave in the middle of the year, and why haven't they been able to find a replacement? The thought of teaching those kids terrify me even more, and for a moment, it makes me want to beg for my old job back in Bridgeport. Did I really go through all these years of med school, become a resident, only to end up teaching Science to high school kids? As scared shitless as I am of the concept, I am strangely drawn to the challenge. After filling out the application and attaching a copy of my resume and other necessary documents, there is only one thing left to do. Submit my application. Now I nervously wait.
The doorbell rings. Who could that be? I'm not expecting anyone. The maid is already inside the house, so it can't be him. Oh, God. Please don't tell me it's Brad. My heart races at the thought of him showing up unannounced.
Oh my God, it's Luke!!! How did he find me?? Just seeing his smiling face makes me emotional, and it takes every bit of self-control not to lose my composure in front of him. It feels so good to see a familiar face again, and of all people that I could ask for, it's Luke. For the first time since I left Bridgeport, it feels like everything is going to be okay. I don't feel so alone in this strange town. It's as if someone sensed my loneliness and heard my prayers because here he is, standing at my door. Call me crazy, but I swear it feels like Superman came to my rescue. He always seems to know when I'm in desperate need of a friend. And just when I think it can't get any better, I see Nikki right next to him, looking up at me with her tail wagging endlessly. My Nikki!! I start jumping for joy, my excitement knows no bounds. I pinch myself, thinking this is all a dream, but it's very real.
"She'll let you in her house
If you come knockin' late at night
She'll let you in her mouth
If the words you say are right
If you pay the price
She'll let you deep inside
But there's a secret garden
She hides"
"I can't believe you're here!!" I squeal as I run into his arms, squeezing him tight. I'm afraid that if I let go, he'll vanish, and I'll wake up all alone on my bed, in the dark. The warmth of his strong arms enveloping me feels like heaven wrapped in a soft blanket, making me feel so secure and protected. I can feel how hard his chest is against mine as the masculine, earthy scent of his cologne teases my pulse, stirring up longings that I've tried to avoid in the last two years.
"I know. It's so good to see you!" His warm breath brushes against my neck, making me squeeze my eyes shut just to hide the shivers crawling down my shoulders.
"How did you find me??" I fnally find the courage to look in his pale, emerald green eyes. The last time I saw them was that day we kissed. Just thinking about it makes me blush, knowing he's here now, right in front of me.
"You want the truth?" He grins nervously, as if he did something bad. It makes me even more curious. The only other person that knows where I live is Brad. Wait..unless...
"Brad told me what happened. So I got pissed, beat him up and took Nikki." A twinkle flashes across his eye, as if he didn't have a choice in the matter.
"Oh my God, you beat him up??" I gasp, silently savoring the thought of that motherfucker writhing in pain. Gosh, just when I think Luke can't get any hotter, he whoops Brad's ass and brings Nikki back to me. My Superman. He really did come to save the day!
"Yeah. Bad." He nods, as if he was glad I wasn't there to see it.
"How bad?" I bite my lower lip as I squeeze his shoulders, my eyes locked with his.
"Let's just say...I almost killed him." He shakes his head in shame.
"Oh, Luke!! Is he okay?" I giggle, loving the fact that he's not afraid to make someone his bitch. Damn, that's hot!!
"He's fine."
"Hey pretty girl, I missed you!!" I smile as Nikki bathes my face with her warm, slobbery tongue. I felt so awful for leaving her behind that I honestly thought I was never going to see her again. The week or so without her has been harder than I thought. There were many nights when I wished she was right next to me in bed, but she wasn't, and it just killed me inside. Even though I didn't have any luck finding another dog, I'm relieved now. Who would have thought she would come back to me? And this is all because of Luke.
"Did you miss mommy? Hmm?? Have you been a good girl? I thought I lost you!" I cup her beautiful face in my hands as I find the warmth in her brown eyes. She smiles as she listens intently to every word, her tail wagging fiercely. Now I have someone to keep me company in this house. I can even take her with me wherever I go. As much as I love Mr. Nunu and as grateful as I am to have found him, having Nikki around just makes my life feel a little more complete. Even though she's a reminder of what I used to share with Brad, she's also what got me through my loneliness towards the end of our relationship. When Brad wasn't around, Nikki was always there by my side, loving me no matter what and kissing my tears away.
"Are you hungry?" I ask as he follows me into the kitchen. That long drive must have worked up his appetite, and it's almost noon.
"A little." He grabs one of the bar stools.
"Are hotdogs okay?"
"I'll eat anything."
"Haha. Not very picky, are you?" I chuckle as I take the hotdogs out of the fridge. He'll eat anything. Damn. My mind wanders into a dirty place. The way he said it... Or am I just a perv? I can feel his gaze behind me, making me nervous all of a sudden, like he's watching my every move.
"How was the drive?" I briefly look at him as I split the buns in half.
"It was good. Not much traffic. I made sure Nikki went to the bathroom before we left."
"Awww, that's good. It's so cute seeing you guys together." It's strange but Nikki and Luke together...it makes sense somehow. Brad was good with Nikki, but I always felt like the main caretaker because he was hardly around.
"Well, Nikki is a charmer. My brother Jake didn't want to let her go. I think I know where she gets it from."
"Haha. Who?"
"You. Just like her mom." He smiles, intently watching my face.
I can feel my cheeks turn crimson. Oh dear...
"You know, you're the first person I cooked for in this house." I change the subject, hoping to divert his attention away from me.
"Oooh, I feel special." He rubs his hands together in excitement.
"Mmm...this is really good, Lyn." He murmurs as he devours half a hot dog in one bite. For a moment I'm hypnotized by the way his mouth moves, as if he hasn't eaten in days. Mmm...a fireman with a huge appetite. I can see him doing grueling work-outs without a shirt, dripping in sweat, just reeking of pure manliness. Then he comes home and inhales a huge steak, licking his fingers like he just ravaged a woman until she passed out.
"I'm glad you like it." I shift my focus on my own plate as I take another bite.
"This is a nice place you have here." He looks around, examining his surroundings.
"Thank you. An elderly couple used to live here but they died. I found out this house was for sale the day I moved here."
"Wow, that's crazy. The very same day?"
"Yeah. And you know what's crazier? Before I found the house, I bought a horse that same day. It turns out that he used to belong to the previous owners."
"Damn. It's like they chose you or something." His eyes widen in shock.
"You know, that's the same thing that my neighbor said. She thinks it's fate."
"Maybe you're connected to them in some way but you just don't know it."
"You think so?" I'm even more intrigued. I love stories like this, when things seem to be destined.
"You never know. What are the chances of something like that happening on the same day you move into a strange town?" He takes his last bite. "You wanna hear something strange?"
"What, what??"
"I feel very comfortable here. Like I've been here before."
"Okay, Luke, you're creeping me out." I feel goosebumps travel up my arms. What's even stranger is that he may be on to something. Him being here...feels right. It makes sense, like he was supposed to be here all along. I start pondering if...we knew each other in a past life. Even the idea that we are both connected to this house. Is it possible? Could we have known each other before? There's something about him, his presence, his energy...that makes everything okay, despite the mess that's going on in my life.
"Sorry. It was just a crazy idea." He shrugs as he picks up the empty plates on the table.
"No, don't do that! You're my guest!" I reach for the plates but he takes a hold of my hand.
"You made lunch. At least let me get the dishes." The intensity of his gaze stops me in my tracks as he squeezes my hand.
"Um...okay..." I stammer as he lets my hand go, making me forget what I was protesting about.
Just when I enter the dining room to put the leftovers away, I catch a glimpse of him in front of the sink. The way he's standing there, scraping the crumbs off the plates before placing them in the dishwasher, just stirs an indescribable feeling inside. There's something sexy but kind about his gesture. He wants to wash dishes because I made lunch when he's the one that just came from a long trip. I can't find the words to explain what he's doing to me. The only other time I felt like this was when I watched him selflessly and courageously put out that fire in the Bridgeport condo, saving five lives, including my own.
"You've gone
A million miles
How far'd you get
To that place where
You can't remember
And you can't forget"
Here we are, all alone in this big house. Since we met, we've always had to keep our distance because I was in a relationship with his best friend. I even went as far as avoiding him in the last two years because of the inexplicable attraction I felt for him, even when I was with Brad. But now...Brad's not in the picture anymore. What's going to stop us from giving in to our desires? This scares me even more. Luke has been a great friend, and as much as I would love to jump his ass on the couch, he's the only thing that makes sense in my life right now. I don't want to lose that.
Watching him flopped on the couch, with his eyes glued to the sports channel reminds me that he's not exactly a girlfriend that I can cry about my problems with over frozen margaritas and butter pecan ice cream. He's a man. A very hot man that I'm having filthy thoughts about.
"So how long will you be in town?" I ask nervously, hoping he'll be here for a while. Even though he's only been here for a few hours, he's already taking my loneliness away.
"It depends on how long you need me here."
"You can stay as long as you want." I hold my breath as I meet his eyes.
"Don't say that." He laughs.
"Why?"
"I may never leave."
"Then don't leave." I challenge him as I watch the coy smile on his face.
"Haha. Well, I told my dad that I'll be here for a few days."
"How many?"
"No more than three."
"That's it?? That's too short---" I stop myself before I sound even more desperate and needy. What is wrong with me?? Why am I begging him to stay? He has a life in Bridgeport, how can I expect him to just drop it at my request?
"I'll see if I can stay longer." He grins, his eyes brimming with excitement.
"Yayy!! Thank you!!" I clap my hands, squealing in delight.
Later that night, he asks to see Mr. Nunu. The only other person that's met him is David, during the riding lesson. Within ten minutes, my beast warmed up to him and happily followed him around on lead. If Mr. Nunu likes Luke right away, I'm in big trouble. If he has the ability to win the hearts of my beloved animals, I will be putty in his hands.
"This is my beast, Mr. Nunu." I proudly introduce him to Luke.
"Wow, he's a beauty." His jaw drops as he holds his hand out to be sniffed.
"Thank you. Nunu means beautiful in Hawaiian."
"I like that. I can see why you had to take him home."
"You're a good boy, Mr. Nunu. You've been keeping your mom company, huh?" Luke whispers into his ear as the beast happily listens. The way he says "mom" when he refers to me...makes me feel even more warm and maternal. I start to imagine what it would be like...if I was carrying his baby instead. I can see him listening to my belly as I get fat, rubbing my feet when they swell and running to the store to get butter pecan ice cream when I get cravings. Just the thought takes my breath away. Wait, why am I thinking like this??
"First Nikki, now Mr. Nunu? You certainly have a way with them!"
"I can't help it. They're so easy to love." He gently strokes Mr. Nunu's face.
Luke follows me to the stable as I put Mr. Nunu in his pen. After checking to make sure he has enough hay and water, I latch the gate close. This is usually a private moment between my beast and I, sort of like tucking him in at night. After all, he's all I had when I moved to this town. Letting Luke see this is like letting him into a world I have worked hard to protect as he slowly becomes a part of the life that I'm building here.
"Goodnight, sweetie. Sweet dreams, okay? Mommy loves you." I kiss his beautiful face, feeling even more vulnerable knowing that Luke heard and saw all of it.
"Goodnight, buddy. I'll see you tomorrow." He caresses his muzzle ever so gently, with the most loving voice. My heart melts at the way he treats my fur babies, as if they are his own, as if he has raised them with me from the beginning. As thrilled as I am to see all of this, a part of me is still afraid to get too close and trust completely. Brad started out very attentive and caring in the beginning, swept me off my feet, made me fall hopelessly in love with him. Look what happened. He ended up sleeping with my sister and destroying my heart. He took a part of me that I may never get back.
"The lake is really beautiful at night. You wanna go?" I ask, trying not to let the negative memories of Brad ruin Luke's visit.
"Right now?"
"Yeah."
"Alright, let's go!"
"She'll let you in her car
To go drivin' round
She'll let you into
The parts of herself
That'll bring you down
Shell let you in her heart
If you got a hammer and a vise
But into her secret garden
Don't think twice"
*Copyright 2012 Lyn C.S.*
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"Secret Garden" by Bruce Springsteen
Video by: BruceSpringsteenVEVO
