Chapter Forty-Three (So Close)

Previously, on "Memoirs Of A City Girl":
Ch. 42 (The Promise)
-Lyn had flashbacks of Emma, Jesse and William at Hangman's Tree.
-Jesse continued his affair with Emma.
-Emma admitted that Abigail is Jesse's daughter.
- Jesse gave Emma another ultimatum: either they divorce their spouses 
or he moves far away from her.
-Even more fearful of losing him, Emma agreed to speak to William 
and ask for a divorce.
-This promise of happiness was cut short when William caught them, 
especially during the act.
-Hurt and betrayed, William pulled a gun at Jesse.
-Jesse provoked William by saying, "She doesn't love you, and she never did."
-Infuriated, William shot Jesse.
-As Jesse took his last breath in Emma's arms, he made her promise to wait 
for him in the next life, and he will find her.
-Not able to go on without Jesse, Emma told William to shoot her.
-He shot her, then shot himself.



Location: Hangman's Tree National Landmark
Date: Saturday, 11/05/2011
Time: 5:47 p.m.

I can feel the cool blades of bermuda grass prickling my arms as my heavy eyes slowly open up to the fading peach skies overtaken by dusk. The sensation of small rocks struggling to breathe under the weight of my back makes it even more apparent that I'm on the ground, and I have no idea how I ended up like this. Promise me...in the next life. I keep hearing this in my head. The more the words circulate in my mind, the more they cause my head to throb, as if they're trying to dig deep in my memory.

As I look over my left, my eyes stumble on the base of the barren oak tree before a figure on the ground catches my attention---and my heart races in panic. I gasp,"Oh my God, Lyn!" Despite the overwhelming weakness in my body, I push myself off the ground and rush to her side. She's unconscious. Frantically cradling her in my arms, I mutter, "Wake up, talk to me!" 

"What happened?" A man's familiar voice calls out nearby, making me spot Brad immediately. He's also on the ground, sitting up and looking bewildered. 

"I don't know," I reply absentmindedly before my attention returns to Lyn, who is still limp in my arms. I press my index and middle finger against the side of her neck to check her pulse. Under the warmth of her skin, I can feel a faint but steady beat. Immediately, I place the same fingers under her nostrils to check on her breathing. Like the steam of a hot cup of coffee, a rhythmic movement of balmy air escapes her nose, radiating onto my fingers, letting me know that she's okay. "Come on, baby, wake up."



She's still unresponsive. Even though her vitals are normal, I can't help but feel partly responsible for her passing out. I provoked her, knowing I was poking at old wounds, even   wounds that haven't completely healed. This scum had the nerve to ask her to marry him, knowing what he's done, after he took advantage of her vulnerability. No, she can't wake up to this. I won't let her. We're the reason why she had a nervous breakdown, and I'm not going to let her go through that stress again. She needs to be somewhere safe and quiet. With this epiphany, I gently pick her body up.

"What are you doing?" Brad quickly rushes to his feet, his eyes in a frenzy at the sight of Lyn in my arms. I've seen those blue eyes gloss over carelessly when he's drunk, fire up in jealousy when he caught me and Lyn kissing, look down in shame when he admitted  to cheating on Lyn, wince in fear as Mr. Clemens struck his face and beg for forgiveness after he slept with Natalie. I've seen the many faces of Brad over the years, but I have never seen him so helpless until now, now that I've taken matters into my own hands for the second time.

"I'm taking her home." I flash Brad a "back-off" glare as I head towards the truck. I've carried an unconscious man out of a burning home before, but this time, it's different. It's the woman I love---the woman I would move mountains for---just to protect. My Lois Lane is in danger from her own vulnerable heart. I need to get her away from here, away from Brad as soon as possible.



Location: 1012 Pomona Promenade
Time: 6:35 p.m.

As I lay here next to her, listening to her breathing, I start to wonder if I should do what I came here to do when she wakes up---tell her how I feel. But is this really the best time to do it? My hand slowly traces the curve of her hip, watching it fall at the graceful dip of her waist, causing her to stir in muffled groans, before it rests on her upper thigh. I lean in to smell her hair, a mixture of fruits and flowers mixed with her body heat, and it causes my heart to quicken in longing, which grows by the second. I close my eyes as I continue to caress the dip of her waist, lost in the cozy stillness of her home, eager to pull her in my arms and just unleash the chains of restraint---if I could. 

"Jesse..." This name escapes her lips in the faintest of whispers that I almost missed it, but I know I heard it. This is the second time she said this name---causing names like William, Abigail and John to surface. It cuts through the fibers of my own heart, breaking down the barriers of my mind, slowly haunting me with images of a time I have long forgotten. The night Lyn had a nightmare, our first trip to Hangman's Tree, how uncomfortable I felt, the flashbacks of a blonde woman and dark-haired man with a beard by the barren oak tree and Lyn's familiar presence soon after that. Then the strange way we all ended up on the ground at Hangman's Park earlier, and not being able to recall what happened. Seeing Lyn's unconscious state, followed by my visions of a man named William catching Emma and Jesse having sex and the tragic end of their lives. "Come back to me...Jesse..."

"Shhhh...it's okay." Shivers run up my spine upon hearing that, as if Lyn's energy just climbed on my hand and washed over my whole being. Promise me...in the next life. I hear this voice once again, and this time, it's my own. As if it just happened yesterday, I can still feel Emma's tears dripping down my bloody face as she said 'I promise', my heart searing with pain, not wanting to leave her, but unable to hold on any longer. All my life I've been searching for "the one", my other half, the woman I would love beyond life and death---and I found her. "I'm here. I'm finally here."

"You're in my arms
And all the world is calm
The music playing on 
For only two
So close together
And when I'm with you
So close to feeling alive"



At the sound of my voice, her body shifts, followed by a silence as the bed creaks to her movement. A faint tap tap tap on the window follows a streak of light submerged in plump gray clouds, which have now swallowed any remnants of sunlight. The howl of wind continues to shake up branches perching on the roof. Raindrops multiply by the thousands, blurring my view of everything else outside. As I watch Lyn sit on the edge of the bed, the soft glow of the lamp casts delicate shadows on her face---haunting and solemn---as if she's still adjusting to her current consciousness. 

Without a word, her shoulders collapse as she buries her face in her hands. 

"Hey," I whisper, gently rubbing her back. "How are you feeling?"

"Just awful." Shaking her head, her voice becomes muffled under the confines of her palms. "What happened?"

"You fainted," I reply, squeezing her arm until she drops her hands on her lap, but she blankly stares out into the window. Now darkness has completely taken over as the rain picks up in heavy gusts, splattering over the windows, dancing all over the roof. Compared to the madness going on outside, the room feels like a peaceful sanctuary---warm and quiet---as if we are the only people that exist in this world. At this very moment, there's nowhere else I would rather be. "I'm sorry about earlier. I didn't mean to put you on the spot like that." 

"I understand...you were just looking out for me. What are you doing here?"

"I...I needed to tell you something."

"So close to reaching 
That famous happy end
Almost believing 
This one's not pretend
And now you're beside me
And look how far
We've come
So far, we are, so close"



"What is it, Luke?" She asks, slowly running her hands down her face, as if she's trying to reboot her mind from today's craziness. I can feel my lungs tighten as I try to find the words to say, if I should say anything at all. Every molecule in my body, every thought that ever existed in my mind is screaming---urging me to come out with my feelings, with what I know. Tell her. The time has come. NOW. They voice out in unison, generating this energy that I can't shake, making my hands tremble in anxiety. 

"Lyn..." I take a deep breath as I gently place my hand on her chin, slowly caressing it before turning her towards me. Our eyes lock. Like a flood of blue electricity circulating back and forth between us, more powerful than lightning, more powerful than a thousand detonated bombs, more powerful than any earthquake I could ever imagine. 

We sit there frozen, spellbound, in utter awe and shock, as we exchange memories through each other's eyes---everything that we have ever shared since 1904, when we became aware of each other's existence in this town. The consuming love, the misunderstandings, the pride, the broken heart, the guttural pain, the mounds of regret, the crushed dreams, the eternal promise and the agonizing wait---comes back full force.

"Oh my God..." Tears cascade down her cheeks as she puts her hand over mouth, her head shaking in disbelief. 

"Y-yes," My voice breaks as I nod my head.  I can feel my eyes flood, but I hold back as I continue, "It's me."

The bed creaks and bounces as she scoots even closer to me, frantically cupping my face. She searches my eyes and breathlessly whispers, "J-Jesse?"

"Emma---" In one blink, the tears escape, along with a massive sense of relief. 

"No, it can't be!" In a flash, the light in her eyes drown helplessly under a sea of panic. She jumps off the bed, looking at me as if I'm some red-eyed demon in her nightmare, and runs out of the room screaming.

By the time I rush downstairs to the living room, I find Lyn standing there---with her face buried in Brad's chest, sobbing. Son of a bitch! Just when I finally find the courage to tell her how I feel, he shows up---seeing her distressed---making me look like the bad guy. That moment we had earlier was real. I could not have imagined it and I know she recognizes me. She had to! 

"I think you should leave." Brad eyes me as he holds her possessively, caressing her back, making me sick to my stomach. "She's upset enough as it is."

"I'll leave when she tells me to leave." I look him straight in the eyes, glaring, making it known that I won't be intimidated. "Lyn, look at me!"

"I'm sorry..." She mumbles, briefly meeting my gaze before hiding her face in Brad's shirt again. "I can't deal with this right now."

"You're going back to him?" I throw my hands up in exasperation as I continue to watch Brad's face glow in triumph. "After everything that's happened??" 

Silence.

Shaking my head, I head towards the door.

"So close 
So close
And still so far"

*Copyright 2013 Lyn C.S.*

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"So Close" by Jon McLaughlin
Video by: JonMclaughlinFAN