Chapter Eight (Out Of Reach)

Previously, on "Memoirs Of A City Girl":
Ch. 7 (Let Me Let Go)
-Flashbacks of passionately kissing him in our Bridgeport condo invaded my thoughts as I grabbed the almond milk to make a breakfast smoothie.
-Reality set in, so I decided to eat butter pecan ice cream instead.
-I nearly killed myself trying to make Mr. Nunu do a long jump, so I signed up for riding lessons.
-I met David, my riding instructor with gorgeous hazel eyes.
-I started to feel nervous.



Location: Equestrian Regional Training Grounds
Date: Monday, 10/24/11
Time: 3:50 p.m.

"It's nice to meet you, Lyn." His hazel eyes sparkle.

"It's nice to meet you too.  David, is it?"  Suddenly riding lessons has never sounded so fun yet scary at the same time.  I expected an older person, perhaps a woman to be my instructor, and here I am.  Talking to Mr. Hazel Eyes.  A part of me wished I stayed home.  Then I could have avoided the nervousness that I'm feeling right now.  Why am I nervous?  Is it the way his hat is turned backwards, giving him that ex-fratboy look? Or how his riding pants hug his thigh muscles?  Or is it the way his eyes remind me of a pale, golden greenish-yellow glass of wine?

"Yes. David Weston."

Even his name has a nice flow to it.  David Weston.  He sounds like he's well-off, like he's an heir to a family fortune.  Why am I getting that familiar feeling again, as if I met him before??  His eyes...something about his eyes.  I feel as if I've seen them before...somewhere...I just can't remember.  This is getting a little weird.  First, the house. Now David.

"Are you ready?" He flashes a smile.

"Yes." I feel a knot in my stomach.



"They told me that you brought your own horse today."

"Yes, I did.  Is that okay?"

"Yes, that's perfectly fine.  In fact, we encourage it.  Those that don't have one usually work with my horse Skye.  I always bring her with me."

"Oh, that's awesome.  Is she here today?"  The thought of meeting another horse gets me excited.  The only one I know is Mr. Nunu and that random run-away by the house.  But he zipped by so fast, I didn't even get a chance to get a good look at him...or her.

"Yes she is.  Would you like to meet her?"

"I'd love to!"



He stops in front of this beautiful creature the color of velvety dark chocolate.  She easily towers over the both of us, holding her head high with pride.  Her hair is braided on both sides, making her look like an Egyptian queen.  There's a quiet elegance about her.  Perhaps she's won a few titles in the past.

Then my eyes wander to her front left foot.  She looks like she's wearing a white sock while the rest of her is a different color.

"Oh, look at her foot!" I smile, feeling more adoration for Skye.

"I know.  That's what  love about her."

"She's gorgeous." 

"Thank you.  You can touch her if you like.  She's friendly." He offers.

The only other horse I've touched is Mr. Nunu, and it took him a few days to get used to me.  But to pet a strange horse when it just met me?  I guess I'll have to take David's word for it.  After all, he's the expert and he knows his horse better than anyone else.

"Hi Skye.  It's okay, I just want to say hello." I nervously whisper as I hold out my hand.

She looks at me, then leans down to smell my hand.  Her nose feels wet, but I can feel the calm energy coming from her.  Her face lingers near my hand just a little bit longer before she steps back.  I let out a sigh of relief, knowing that my greeting was successful.



"Good girl, Skye.  I like how you used your manners towards the pretty lady." He praises her as he gently strokes her neck.  She gives out a  happy snort, listening to his every word.  There's something about the way he talks to her that seems so natural, as if they have known each other in another lifetime.  And pretty lady?? Did he just say pretty lady?

It makes me wonder how he would talk to a woman in private.  Would he whisper in her ear and know exactly what to say?  Would he gently stroke her neck the same way, making her feel so hypnotized that she can't help but say "God, yes" to him?  Wait, why am I having these thoughts about my riding instructor?? We haven't even started the class yet and my mind is already wandering.



"Hi baby, are you having fun?  We're going to start the class pretty soon." I reassure him.

"Is he yours?" David asks.

"Yes he is.  He's my pride and joy."

"What's his name?"

"Mr. Nunu."

"That's a cool name!"

"Thank you.  It means 'kind' in Hawaiian."

"He certainly is. And he's beautiful."



"Hey buddy!  I'll be working with you today.  Is that alright?" He says as he approaches Mr. Nunu.  He never takes his eyes off him.

"Wow, he's already responding to you."  I observe in amazement.

"I always ask permission before I do anything.  Would you mind if I walk around with him for a little bit?  I just want to see how comfortable he is being handled."  He asks, turning to me.

"Not at all.  Take your time."

He always asks for permission.  Mmm...that's always a good thing.



It's strange to watch another person walk off with Mr. Nunu.  I'm so used to being with him and handling him that I didn't expect him to cooperate with David so quickly.  I know he's a professional, and he's used to handling many horses, but I guess a part of me wants to make sure that Mr. Nunu will still need me at the end of the day.  I may be inexperienced with animals, but I have become attached to this beast.  My maternal instinct just wants to make sure that nothing happens to him.

At the same time, there's something really sexy about the way David works with him.  It's as if there's an unspoken energy between them, and they understand each other without the need for words.  Wherever David goes, Mr. Nunu happily follows behind him.



After 10 minutes, they return.  Could my eyes be deceiving me or did they already bond in that short amount of time?

"Good job, Mr. Nunu! Thank you for taking a walk with me." He caresses his muzzle, smiling.  Mr. Nunu happily receives his touch, eyes closed.

"He did well?" I ask.

"Yes he did.  He's a good horse.  He's ready."

"I'm glad to hear that."

He walks over towards me.

"Alright, Lyn.  Let's start." His face is only about foot from mine.  I look away.



I try to mount Mr. Nunu but my foot seems to be struggling on the stirrup.  I'm having a hard time pushing myself up.  I didn't have any problems earlier today, but I seem to have forgotten how to do it at this moment.

"Put your left foot here, and hold on to his back as you push." His gentle voice appears beside me, making me even more aware of his presence.

"Okay."  I mutter, placing my foot on the strirrup.

"There you go.  Now hold on to him while you push up."

"Okay." I let out a deep breath.  My hands are now on Mr. Nunu's back.

"I got you.  Go ahead." He whispers.  As I push up on the stirrup, I can feel the warmth of his hands supporting my waist.  I feel a tightness in my chest.   A wave of tingles spread to my face as my bottom finally reaches Mr. Nunu's back.

"Thanks." This is all I can say.

"No problem.  Don't worry, I'll be watching you.  Just relax."

Great.  He'll be watching me the whole time.  Can I be more self-conscious right now?

Even though I'm not facing him directly, I can somehow feel his gaze burning on my body.  It makes me even more uneasy.  I try to  relax and focus on Mr. Nunu like he suggested.



"Now you're going to do the low jump.  Stay in the center. Go easy."



"You're doing fine.  Now pick up a little bit of speed."



We pass through three jumps in a row.

"Very good!  Now do it again.  Nice and easy."

I'm feeling more comfortable with each jump.  I can also sense Mr. Nunu's growing confidence in me as his handler as well.  Our communication seems more smooth.  He's becoming better at anticipating when the next jump is, as well as when I need him to turn around and go back.

"Alright, that should be good for tonight." David motions for us to come back.



"That was a lot of fun!" I exclaim after dismounting Mr. Nunu.

"Good, I'm glad you're having fun.  You're looking pretty good on the low jumps."

"Thanks.  It helps when I have someone to coach me."

"Have you had lessons before? You don't have that nervousness like most new students."

Oh Mr. Hazel Eyes, if you only knew...

"Well, I practiced with him for a little bit this morning on the low jumps."



Suddenly I notice that the sun is gone.  The lights are on, creating a dim yet visible view of the field.   The training area is becoming empty as well.  How long have I been working with David?  Are we the only ones left here?

"You were here this morning?  I don't remember seeing you."  His eyes are glowing like the warm flame of a candle.

"No, no, not here.  My ranch has a training area." 

"Oh, you have a ranch?"

"Yeah, I just bought it last week."

"That's awesome.  Did you move here or is that your vacation home?  A lot of people buy property here but they live somewhere else."

"I moved here."

"From where?"

"Bridgeport."



"Oh wow, all the way from Bridgeport?  That's a big city."

"Yeah, it's definitely a big city.  I grew up there."

"My parents own a condo there.  They sometimes go on weekends." He explains.

"Did you grow up here in Appaloosa?"

"Sort of.  Well, I was born and raised in Sunset Valley.  Then my father bought a ranch here when I was a freshman in high school.  It started as a vacation home but the country life grew on us.  So we moved here instead."

"Sunset Valley, huh?  I've been there once to check out the beach.  It's a nice little town."



"My parents still have a house in Sunset Valley.  It's the one I grew up in.  Sometimes I stay there when I visit."

"Wow, your parents own two houses and a condo?" My suspicions are right.  He does come from money. Now I'm wondering if he's had to earn anything in his life.

"Yeah, well, it's their money.  I'm trying to save up to get my own place.  I'm also a student so I'm only doing this part-time.  It's really because I love working with horses so much."

Maybe there's hope for him after all.  He's actually trying to make his own money.  I commend him since I did the same thing, no matter how taxing it would get to live with parents as an adult.  That was the only way I was able to go to college without any debt and allow my savings to grow at the same time.  Although it really put a damper on my dating life, which was almost non-existent.

"Oh yeah?  What are you majoring in?"  Wait...does this mean he's younger than me?

"I want to be a teacher.  I really enjoy helping people."  He finds my eyes again.

"That's the reason why I'm in the medical profession too.  To help people." I hold his gaze.  So he comes from a rich family but he's trying to make his own living and help people.  Maybe he's just telling me what I want to hear.  I feel a sudden sense of fear.  He's getting a little too close for my comfort.



"Are you in medical school?"  He asks.

"I was a first year resident in Bridgeport."

"Wait, you're a doctor?"

"No, not yet.  When I finish my residency, I'll get the licence to practice as a pediatrician."

"That's impressive.  But wait...why did you move here?"

Why did he have to ask that?  I haven't thought about my life in Bridgeport since this morning.  I was having fun.  I even enjoyed meeting this mysterious riding instructor.  A hot one at that.  But his question just reminded me of what I had to give up...my dream of helping children.  It's nice to talk to another person, even share something in common with, but the protective wall I hold over my past just became threatened.  Why is he asking so many questions?  Why is he so interested in my life?

I begin to feel uncomfortable.  I don't want to get to know him.  I don't want him to get to know me.  I just want to keep things the way they are: him as my riding instructor, me as his student. Nothing more, then I can be done with this class.

"I'd rather not talk about it.  If you don't mind."  My voice is icy.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to---" Embarrassment takes over his face.

"You're always bound to fall
There's nothing you can do
The weight of gravity begins
To pull you down again
So what are you to do now?
Stuck between the hope and doubt
You get so close to clarity
Makes you question everything"



"That's fine.  So are we done here?"  I avoid his eyes, hoping he'll take the hint.  I feel bad for giving him the sudden cold shoulder, but his question really hit a nerve.



"Yeah...we're done.  Look, I'm sorry.  I shouldn't have asked such a personal question."  His hazel eyes hope for forgiveness, perhaps even a second chance.  They start to warm up my guarded heart again, almost making me cave in. Almost.

"I said it's fine."

"Well, I guess I'll see you next week.  That's if you're still coming back." Despite my cold demeanor, he still finds the patience to smile.

"Yes, I'll be here."

"Alright. See you then, Lyn."

"Bye."



I watch him walk away.  My heart wants to yell, "David, wait!"

But a part of me knows I'll have to explain myself eventually, and I don't think I'm ready to do that.  I'm not ready to let him, or anyone in yet.  How can I be, when I'm not even ready to let my own self in?



"Come on, sweetie.  Let's go home."



"You're so far away
So far away from me
Is it starting to break
Underneath my feet
You're so far away
Am I just out of reach?"

*Copyright 2011 Lyn C.S.*
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"Out Of Reach" By Matthew Perryman Jones
Video by: LexieLouLooLew