Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Chapter Thirty-One (Closer)

Previously, on "Memoirs Of A City Girl":
Ch. 30 (November Rain)
-Lyn was ecstatic to find that Luke surprised her with a teddy bear when she woke up.
-She looked for him everywhere in the house, only to find that he left without saying goodbye.
-She was hurt and disappointed, feeling as if all men let her down, including Luke.
-She decided to go "vegetarian", vowing to stay away from anything that has a penis.
-After driving down to Appaloosa Plains Public School to inquire about the Science position, she landed an interview with Dr. Weston instead.
-The interview was very short, leading Lyn to believe that she didn't get the job.
-Later that night, Luke called to explain why he left.
-He stayed on the phone with Lyn until she fell asleep.

*Graphic sexual content, nudity, strong language*

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Location: Bridgeport Sports Zone
Date: Monday, 10/31/11
Time: 9:26 p.m.


"That's your fifth one tonight.  Everything okay, man?" The blonde bartender asks as he plunks down another Melted Snowman in front of me.
 
"Yeah, just fucking peachy." I slam my fist on the counter, spilling some of the liquid contents from the ice-cold glass.  His eyes quietly shift in my direction as he wipes an empty beer mug with a dishrag.

"Wanna talk about it?" 

"No." The cold concoction feels good as it sweeps the back of my throat, its bittersweet aftertaste disarming the cloudiness and tension quickly taking over my brain.  My thoughts start to filter themselves out, only flashing at the significant events and people in my life.  A lot of them I'd rather forget.  Alcohol has this amazing ability to do that for me.  One sip, or bottle...or two...makes the easiest task seem like a hurdle.  Like walking straight, or driving home without hitting anything...or anybody for that matter.        

"Alright...if you need anything, let me know." He flashes me a brief yet sympathetic smile before he reaches under the counter to straighten out some items.

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Even though the room starts to feel like it's moving in slow motion, my ears can hear every sharp note and beat of the music playing in the background.  Boom... boom... boom...boom.  In almost the same fashion as the pounding of my own heart.  Slow, methodical, almost annoyingly distracting.  I find myself tying it all together with the involuntary bobbing of my head.  Boom...boom...boom...boom.  This is the only thing that makes sense.  Taking another large chug, I close my eyes.  Now it feels like everything, including the tingles in my body, is screaming, but in complete darkness.  But somehow I don't feel like I have to hide.  Maybe this is the only safe place to be right now.    

Then the music stops.  There's a short pause before another song comes on, but with a slower beat.  I reluctantly open my eyes.  I liked that dark place.  I wanted to stay there.  But now that the rhythmic beat is gone, it feels like everyone is staring at me.  It's too quiet.  The sound of a plastic disk hitting the corner of the shuffleboard forces me to turn to my right.  I catch a girl with long, dark hair staring at me.  When our eyes meet, she quickly looks away.  I know that look too well.  Either she wants to fuck or she thinks I could be "the one".  I never understood that concept.  Women put all these expectations on a guy they barely know, and they think sex is supposed to seal the deal.    

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She walks over to me.  They usually do.  All it takes is one sweeping glance from head to toe with a slight pause at their breasts.  Of course they want me to look.  Why else would they wear tight, revealing outfits that show off their ass and cleavage if nobody noticed? If they want to be appreciated for their intelligence, they're better off joining a book club or some seminar that encourages philosophical discussions.  

Holding my drink in one hand, I watch her body move with finesse, like a cat crawling towards me.  Her hips sway with each step, making her impossibly tight dress raise slightly, exposing even more of her honey-colored thighs.  There's an air of confidence about her.  She knows what she wants.  I can tell she's not new at this.    

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"Hi." She smiles, grabbing the barstool next to me.

"Hey." I nod in acknowledgement as I finish the rest of the drink.

"I'm Sugar.  What's your name?"

"Brad."

"So Brad, what do you do?"

"I'm a doctor."

"Ooooh, a doctor!" Her eyes light up as if she just hit the jackpot.  So predictable.  I knew this profession would bring prestige, but I had no idea it would trigger so much attention from women.  It makes me wonder if they're truly interested in me and not just my title or bank account.

"Yup."

"You wanna get out of here, Brad?"

"Sure, why not." I'm alone. I'm drunk.  I'm horny.  It ain't like I'm trying to fall in love.  

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"Oh wow, nice car!" Sugar looks around the interior of my black Empire Eidolon.  With the Italian leather seats and carbon fiber dashboard, the new car smell is still evident, since I just bought this a few days ago.  I had to get rid of my old Rock Town muscle car.  Even though that's been my baby since my college days, it just brings back too many memories...of her...which I'd rather not get into right now.

"Thanks." I try to ignore her overt enthusiasm for this shiny pussy-magnet.  I mean, what did I expect when I bought this thing?  I could have, should have bought a house instead.  But what would it bring me? More unbearable silence? Two extra rooms I will never use? An emptiness that can't be filled with more furniture or useless, expensive decor?

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Location: 99 Embarcadero Drive

Time: 10:55 p.m.

It doesn't take long for this girl to climb on top of me.  One minute we're sitting on my couch as I listen to her drone on about the mundane details of her job as a waitress, the next minute her tongue is down my throat.  I love a woman that takes charge, but there's something about the way she kisses that puts me off.  Sure, her lips are soft and her tongue feels good in my mouth...but there's something lacking.  My heart doesn't feel like it's going to burst.  My stomach doesn't feel like it's being raided by a thousand butterflies.  My breath is still perfectly intact.  I push these negative thoughts out of my head as I grab her ass, trying to get into the moment while this woman blatantly makes it known that she wants me.  

"Damn, you're so hot." She whispers as she pulls back to gaze into my eyes.  I try to find that feeling again as I search her dark brown eyes, but I find nothing.  I don't get lost.  It doesn't cause a vulnerability that makes me want to hide.  I feel nothing.  

What is wrong with me?? Why can't I enjoy this?  


"Mmmm...you're so big." She murmurs as I watch my dick slide in and out of her mouth.  A part of me wishes she had waited to to this.  Maybe until the third or fifth date...or the fourth week.  Something, anything that will take her out of the "one night stand" category.  But it's too late.  I'm too wasted to protest, and for once, something finally feels good. 

"You like that?" I drop my head back as I grab her face with both hands, pushing her mouth even deeper into my hard-on.

"Yes, I love it when it's big." Her eyes seductively lock with mine as she swirls her tongue around the head.  No more thinking.  No more rationalizing.  Tonight, I'm fucking her brains out.

"You like having that big dick in your mouth, don't you?" I gyrate my hips on her face until she turns red from gagging.  Yeah, that's right.  Choke on it.

"Mmm, yes, doctor!!" 

"You let me violate you
You let me desecrate you
You let me penetrate you
You let me complicate you"





Just the sight of her on her knees, tolerating the filthy words coming out of my mouth, brings out a side of me I've tried to suppress.  After putting a condom on, I turn her around until she's bent over in front of me.  She's already wet.


"Spread your legs." I command in a low voice while my hand rubs her glistening pussy from behind.  I can already hear her panting as her thighs move further away from each other.  All I see is her round ass sticking out in front of me, just waiting for me to take it.  With one deep thrust, I enter her.  She cries out in surprise but I continue to hold on to her hips as I pound into her.  The sound of my pubic bone slapping hard against her cheeks is even better than liquor.  It wakes me up.  It makes me feel alive.  I can hear my pulse racing as my hand smacks her ass. Hard.

"Oh my God, yes!! Yes!" She moans as she arches her back, her long hair covering her face.







"So good!! You feel so good!" Her eyes roll to the back of her head as hot breath escapes with her deep moans.  I grab on to her thigh as I dig even harder, not caring that her face sometimes contorts in pain.  If she wants the big dick, she better be able to hande it.  

"I want to fuck you 
Like an animal
I want to feel you

From the inside
I want to fuck you
Like an animal
My whole existence
Is flawed
You get me closer

To God"

"Say you like it rough. Say it!" The creaking of the couch, along with her heavy breathing, brings me to a raw state of mind.  Whatever emotion I had left, Lyn took them with her.  My capacity to feel, to love, to desire some type of happiness, is gone.  I don't know why I screwed things up.  Maybe deep down inside I knew I never deserved someone like her.  But she loved me anyway.  So why was it so hard for me to accept?  Why did I throw away the only thing that gave meaning to my life?  

"I l-like it...r-rough!" Her voice is barely audible between desperate breaths.  She arches her back as her hips start to shake. "Brad, I'm gonna come!!"

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Then my mind betrays me.  Instead of this girl screaming my name, I hear her voice instead.  I see her beautiful face transcending into the highest state of nirvana.   I hear her soft moans caressing my ears.  I feel her sweaty body merging with mine as our temperatures collide, until we're simply lost in our own bubble of bliss.  My heart feels like it's going to explode from the intense feelings she's awakened and I'm falling into a place between heaven and hell.  Heaven because this is the closest I've ever felt to another human being.  Hell because it scares the shit out of me.  Losing control, feeling helpless, unable to cage my heart any longer.  

I try to hold on to this place in my head, but the more I try to reach for it, the more it eludes me.  Everything fades away until complete darkness is all I see.  I hear the moans again.  This time it's coming from the girl under me on the couch.  She looks at me with this dazed look in her eyes, urging me to keep going, but I'm losing my momentum.  I try to regain all of the carnal urges I felt earlier, but the deeper I try to go inside her, the more distant I feel.  Each second that passes, it feels more like I'm screwing a stranger.  Impersonal, cold, with no emotional connection that makes it special.  This never bothered me before, in fact, this is what I preferred.  Less hassle, less baggage.  But now...it just doesn't feel right.

I find myself doing something I've never done before.  I actually stop in the middle of sex.  
At first she's confused, but eventually she understands as she puts her clothes back on.  I explain that it just isn't working.  She asks if I'm thinking about an ex, but I don't answer.  I simply call a cab for her.

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A few hours later, I wake up with a massive hangover.  My head is throbbing, like someone is trying to squeeze my brains out through my eyes.  It feels like my skull is going to crack.  When I look down, I realize that I'm naked.  What happened last night?  How did I even get home? All I remember is that I went to a sports bar.  I had a few drinks.  Then I caught a girl staring at me.  Ohhh...right.  I took her home last night.  

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Lyn.  I can't escape her.  She's gone, but she's everywhere.  In this condo, at the hospital, at the places where we used to go, in my mind, in my heart, in the bittersweet memories that torment me.  This place used to be full of life.  That feeling when I come home, knowing she and Nikki are waiting for me.  The way their faces light up when I walk through the door, so anxious to talk to me that I barely have time to put my coat and keys away.  How did I take that for granted?  How could I be so blind?  I had it all.  If I hadn't walked out on her when we got into a fight, she might still be with me, carrying my child.  We could have been a family. 

I let the liquor pass through my throat until there's nothing left in the glass.  It burns through my chest as the heat spreads out towards the back of my neck.  Maybe if I drink enough, I can drown out this cloud of regret that refuses to leave my sight.  Maybe I'll be so numb that I won't feel anything.  And if I don't feel anything, there won't be any pain...or deep longing...or an overwhelming desire to show up at her door and beg at her feet.

But Luke is there.  Fuck.  She was right.  I did push her towards him.  If I made more of an effort to make her happy, Luke wouldn't even have a chance.  I'd still be making love to her.  I'd still be holding her at night.  I'd probably be helping her pick out a name for our son or daughter.  They say it's better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all, but sometimes I wish I had never met her.  I was fine before she came into my life.  I was happy with the casual flings and one night stands.  How can I possibly go back to the way things were when I've gotten a sweet taste of love? Of her? Of this thing called happiness?  Maybe she should have met Luke first.  Then they would have fallen in love, I'd still be the old me, and I would still have a best friend.      

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After eating breakfast and taking a hot shower, I decide to get out of the house.  It's too quiet in there.  I'll just end up thinking about Lyn and all of the mistakes I wish I could erase.  I can't even bring another girl in there without being reminded that she's not her.  Nobody is.  And nobody ever will be.  

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Location: 2097 Edgewood Road

Time: 10:45 a.m.

I find myself pulling up to this house.  I haven't been here in almost six months.  The azalea bushes are still there, just like I remember, even though it looks like it hasn't been trimmed in a while.  I don't know what I'm doing here, but where else can I go? This is probably one of the few places that isn't haunted by memories of Lyn.  In fact, she's never been here before.  

My pulse races as I press the doorbell.  This isn't exactly my favorite place in the world, but it's one of the few that I can still go to.  Nobody answers.  Something tells me the doorbell is useless.  With a slight twist on the doorknob, the door opens easily.  Why is it unlocked? 

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"Help me
I broke apart my insides
Help me

I've got no soul to sell
Help me

The only thing that
Works for me
Help me get away

From myself"


*Copyright 2012 Lyn C.S.* ----------------------------

"Closer" by Nine Inch Nails

Video by: kkcherryco66

32 comments:

  1. Brad still can't get Lyn out of his mind, well serves him right...I wonder who's house that is he has just entered...

    I think he hope he can get Lyn back but in all honestly I can't see that happening

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    1. Now Brad is definitely living with the consequences of losing Lyn, and especially after she told him to leave her alone. You'll find out who's house he just went into in the next chapter.

      I agree, it will take a lot for Brad to even think of the possibility of getting Lyn back. He hurt her pretty bad.

      Thanks for reading, Lckygrl!

      Delete
  2. I've been following your story since I ran across it back in January, I am truly in love with it. I'm usually a lurker but I just had to break my silence and give you One praises for this masterpiece and Two a review of Chap. 31.

    As much as I despise cheaters, something deep down in my heart feels truly sorry for him, this part of me hopes him and Lyn will rekindle but the reality is that his time is up. He has to get out of the mindset that trying to numb himself from the world will help,that sleeping with countless women will take the pain away that it will bring him some sort of coping with the outcome of his actions and it will not. This hurt and pain he is experiencing now is what will make him stronger, what will drive him to find happiness again, Once he steps outside of himself, Love will come. He will love again...It may not be Lyn but it will be a Woman that has her qualities and spirit, which will result in him giving her the love Lyn deserved...possibly even more. One day he will look back on this and see that it was a learning experience that will ensure make him into a MAN. Brad just has to find his way. Which starts in taking responsibility of his actions and asking Lyn for forgiveness and her forgiving him. That will ensure closure of the Chapter they shared together.




    Can't wait for the next Chap. :-D

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    1. Hi Sunflower, welcome to my blog and thanks for checking out my story! Awww, I'm so glad you're enjoying it so far. Gosh, who would have thought that it would take 31 chapters with Brad in it to get you to come out from lurking, but I'm so glad you did! I finally got to meet you. :-) Wow, thank you so much for the kind words about my story. It's a far cry from a masterpiece since there's a lot I need to work on, but it has definitely helped me blossom as a writer. But you just made my whole week! I can't stop smiling! :-)

      I know exactly what you mean about feeling sorry for Brad, and kind of wanting to see what would happen if they worked things out. I know, I know, that's the last thing readers want. I don't know...I still feel the connection between him and Lyn, and with their history together. At the same, I see what you're saying about his time running out. He's had plenty of chances to make her happy and when he slept with her sister, he really crossed the line.

      You're right, he needs to find a healthier way of coping with his problems besides alcohol and promiscuous sex. But that's all he knows. It's going to take some time for him to realize that these things don't work. Before, he had Lyn and Luke to confide, but he doesn't have that anymore. So he'll cope in the best way that he knows how.

      I hope you're right. I hope he sees this time in his life as an opportunity to grow and become a real man. To own up to his actions and step up to the plate. It's going to be hard for him to accept that he can't be with Lyn. Sure, he'll meet another special woman, but he'll have to let Lyn go if he wants another chance at happiness. Otherwise, he'll just end up sabotaging his next relationship. He and Lyn definitely need closure! lol

      Thanks for reading, Sunflower!

      Delete
  3. ~ Brad is in a Hell of his own making!He had it all,he messed it up!
    ~ Is his dad dead?Or just Dead Drunk,as usual!?
    ~ I can see that if Brad finds out that Luke is back home,he will try to get Lyn back,one way or the other,if he can not get her by wooing her,he will do what his dad always did to his mum!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    ~ Sorry about the short comment!
    ~ You do know I love this story,right!(",)

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    1. I agree, he definitely created his own hell. The question is, will he be able to get out of it on his own? You'll find out who that man is and if he's dead or alive in the next chapter.

      It's definitely a possibility for Brad to try and get Lyn back if he finds out Luke left. Now that he realizes his mistake, it will be hard for him to accept that she may never come back. Whoa, Brad beating on Lyn?? If he does that, he's dead. Especially if Luke finds out. lol

      No worries about the short comment. Any comment is better than none, it gives me feedback. Besides, sometimes it's a good thing. Not too many predictions. lol

      Thanks for reading, Karima, and yes I now you love this story. I'm happy that you do! :-)

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  4. I'm so glad he's suffering! He should be he was wrong to sleep with her sister and he knows it. She tried and tried but he kept pushing her away. I can't feel sorry for him even a little right now. It wasn't just any girl he slept with IN THEIR BED but it was her sister. He knew how she felt about her and he did it to hurt her. Well that shit backfired big time.

    He went home. Of all the places he would go, he went to the one place that also hold bad memories.

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    1. I know, I know. He's definitely paying the price for his mistakes and he's living with it everyday. If he could take back what he did, he would. But he can't. He's had his share of chances but his fears and ego got in the way. Brad has a lot to learn. Then again, if Brad had never cheated on Lyn with her sister, she wouldn't have the chance to know how wonderful Luke is, nor would she know about her past life with Jesse. She'd still be with Brad, and would have never known what she could have with Luke. Now would she have a choice. So I don't know...it kind of goes either way.

      Now that Luke and Lyn are gone, he had to figure out where else he can go. And this is the place that came to his mind.

      Thanks for reading, Mica!

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  5. He has this coming, he really does. In his own words, he had it all, and threw it away for something he can't even bring himself to do anymore, how's that for irony?

    On the other hand, i can't help but to feel for him. People, guys especially, have a hard time in first time relationships, whether it's just not really knowing what to do to under appreciating what they have.

    I kind of fear for Lyn a little. Brads' not really in his right mind and if he goes to her, seeing she's by herself..i dunno what he would do really, i don't think he would ever hurt her, i do believe he would have her back at any cost though, good stuff....edenz~

    a ps../shakes fist at Luke

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    1. I know, right? The irony. He threw away happiness for some booty. And now that he can have his booty, he can't even enjoy it. With all the guilt and regre haunting him. I guess he had to learn the hard way.

      I know what you mean, I feel bad for him too. He just seems so...lost. It's true that guys can have a hard time when they're new at relationships, and they don't really know what they have until it's gone. But for him to sleep with Naveah,that's just...so wrong. I guess he thought he was God's gift to women. Still, none of it excuses what he did.

      Hmmm...at any cost, huh? How far would he go to get Lyn back? I guess we'll have to wait and see. :-)

      Thanks for reading, Edenz!

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  6. You did not just write an ENTIRE chapter of that ROTTING-DICKHEAD!!! and put it out there for me to read...

    You've got mail!

    Dear Lyn,
    Thus far I have tolerated the mild torture you have inflicted on a much-more deserving asshole named Brad. No longer...
    I am officially trying to come out of my screen and into your game to strangle the bastard. I ain't even lying. I just downloaded a Ford F-150 for my Sim with which I'd gladly run him over, reverse and do it again!

    Whenever I see his face, I flip the switch and let Francesca run the show. She is my dark side. She's way up there with the big guys, think Scarface!


    To prevent this message to retreat to your spam folder, I shall cut it short! I will gallantly give you these choices to pick from. Choose wisely!
    ~ Murder by Gun
    ~ Murder by Spontaneous Combustion
    ~ Murder by Ford F-150 (Driven skillfully by me...)
    ~ Murder by My Foot up His Ass

    Let me know what you decide!

    Amicably yours,
    Jean-Marie

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    1. OMG, you crack me up!! xD A personal email about how you'd like to strange Brad and run him over with an F-150?? DAMN!! He definitely has deathwish! lol I know you can't stand Brad and I don't blame you, especially after what he did to Lyn. But he's still a part of this story, and he plays a larger role than you think. I know a lot of readers wish he would just drop off the face of this earth. But he refuses to die and he refuses to go away. In fact, I feel more compelled to find out how he's going to deal with losing Lyn and Luke. Will he grow from this experience or will he self-destruct? I guess only time can tell.

      But wow, Francesca?? DAMN, remind me not to piss you off! :O Brad better not run into you or his guts will be splattered all over the road. lol

      Okay, okay, you had me at "Murder by My Foot up His Ass". I would LOVE to see how that one goes. lol You're a nut!! :D

      Thanks for reading, JM!

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  7. I don't think that I will ever feel sorry for Brad! I am glad that he now truly knows what his selfishness cost him. You wrote the feelings so perfectly! He had found someone he loved and that loved him and he blew it!

    I hope that Lynn doesn't take him back, but I think that he is going to try and get her back!

    So well written and emotional like always, Tommie!

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    1. I don't blame you one. Sleeping with anyone's sister is unforgivable, and ofentimes there's no coming back from that. But yes, now you now that he regrets what he did, and he's living with the consequences everyday.

      With Brad, there's no telling what he's going to do. When he wants something, he'll do whatever it takes to get it. At what cost though, that remains to be seen.

      Thank you for reading, Daisies, and for the kind words! I always try to put myself in the characters' shoes, so I'm glad it came through in this chapter.

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  8. I'm glad Brad is regretting everything he did to Lyn and that he's suffering he doesn't deserve anything else!
    I hope he leaves Lyn alone, she doesn't need him in her life.
    Luke's disappeared again! Bring him back I'm having withdrawals!lol!
    Well written chapter!

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    1. Yes, Brad is definiely regretting what he did. Now more than ever, especially since she told him to leave her alone. He can't even have sex with another girl without thinking about Lyn.

      Ideally, he would leave her alone, but there's no telling what he'll do. If he wants her back, what's going to stop him? Probably Luke, if he knew. But that means Luke will have to act like Lyn's bodyguard 24/7.

      LOL! Luke withrawals! You'll see Luke again in the next chapter of Heat :-)

      Thanks for reading, Claireybear and for the kind words!

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  9. Bravo Bravo Lyn you did it agian theres nothing you can't do my friend. Chapter 31 was awesome. you had some sex some drinking and a sports bar thats a perfect guy chapter. Just keep on doing what your doing Wild thang you be ready to make a novel in no time at all. :)

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    1. Awwww, thanks Tom!! I'm glad you enjoyed this chapter. Haha I did't even realize this was a guy chapter until you mentioned it. But you're right. Sex, booze, sports bar, written in Brad's POV, major guy themes. lol

      Now I just need to work on adding more violence. :D

      Thanks again for reading and for your support!

      Delete
  10. When a man is a womanizer, and then finds love but pushes that love away, because he can't understand it. He creates a hell he never knew before. Drinking won't chase it away, crazy sex won't chase it away, trying to find or get back what is gone, won't chase it away. Brad has alot of thinking, alot of changeing, alot of finding a new way to look at women.

    I am sure that his dad, is what caused the major portion of his problems, and i am totally sure his dad will not help him through them. I hope I am wrong, I hope his dad, has something in him that will help Brad find a peace, a new way of living.

    Brad must learn that love is never forgotten, but time does heal, and a love that comes after, is most likely the one that is truer than the one lost. But he also needs to learn that he can't compare. To many both men and women compare, to one before. Hopefully some form of compromise can come into his life. Having lost his girl, and his best friend. I am sure he will never get back what he wishes he had back. But then maybe changes, could bring a small bit of compromise, though i truely doubt it. What I see though is Luke leaving bridgeport, maybe even his whole family. But will Brad stay in Bridgeport, will Brad try to run, to find newness in a different town.

    I know speculating, lol, can't help it. Had 4 husbands, 3 of which are deceased, but of those 3, one was a true grief, 1 let his friends lead his life, and 1 was a totaly flirt, thinking he could have his cake and eat it too. Sadly i understand Brad, and Lyn and Luke, for i have seen it, been there, done it, and cried as much as Lyn. To learn that men, well were to not totally be trusted, to even fear relationships. Hopefully though happiness finds Lyn, Brad and Luke, in some form that completes all their lives.

    looking forward to more on the stories.

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    1. Wow Jerry, you make some really good points. That may be why Brad sabotaged what he had with Lyn because he just didn't understand what love is. Like Luke said, he didn't know what he had. Of course that doesn't excuse what he did, but I think if he knew he had something special, he wouldn't have been so quick to jeopardize it. Sex and liquor is all he knows as far as coping with problems, but hey may be realizing that they can't get rid of his momories of Lyn.

      Brad's parents played a role in the type of person he has become, and you will see why in the next few chapters.

      Oh man, if Brad hears that he's better off finding someone new, and he may never get Lyn back, he will be crushed. Lyn was his first love, and she has really imbedded herself in his heart. It's going to be really hard for him to accept that, let alone let her go. And it's even more tough that he lost his best friend too. Maybe this is the kick in the ass that he needs to change. Hmmm...Luke leaving Bridgeport? That could be a possibility if he and Lyn get serious in the future. His family, on the other hand, we'll have to see. lol

      Wow, you have been through a lot with four husbands. But if you were able to stay strong and survive, Lyn should be able to do the same thing. As much as it breaks my heart that you went through such hardship, it's very inspiring to know that you can connect to the characters on a personal level. That really warms my heart. :-) I guess we'll see what happens with these three, and who Lyn chooses in the end.

      Thanks for reading!

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  11. Good update! Brad deserves it, but still I wish the best for him, just not Lyn.

    However, the lyrics you put in... my mind is forever tainted by Weird Al's Alternative Polka. That song is part of it. This is the vid on YouTube I found ... just deal with the beginning then you'll see what I mean, if you don't know already.

    http://youtu.be/fVWjThlEzts

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    1. I'm glad you enjoyed this chapter! I understand why you don't want her to get back with him. Hopefully he can learn from this loss and do better in his next relationship.

      LOL OMG, I watched the Weird Al version. So funny! I never thought I'd be laughing at this song. It sounds so different the way he sings it, especially with the censor sounds. lol "I want to *honk* you like an animal."

      Thanks for reading, Mypal!

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  12. I kinda feel sorry for him, but it was all his own doing. He cheated on her and had sex with her SISTER.(TWICE!!!) She tried so hard to make things work but he didn't even care. Whatever pain he's going through right now, I guess he deserves it. LUKE BABIES FOR THE WIN! LUKE JUNIOR... AWWWWW!

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    1. I know, I know. He did this to himself. Ughhh...sometimes I wish he never did that, but I have to remind myself that if she was still with Brad, she would never know how wonderful Luke is. So you kind of have to look at the big picture I guess. I feel bad for Brad though. He had to learn the hard way, and that sucks.

      LOL Luke babies!! That would be too adorable! :-)

      Thanks for reading, Miranda!

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  13. Brad...why do I have a terrible feeling that he's not going to leave Lyn alone? What a jerk - I hope he gives himself alcohol poisoning. And now he's paying a visit to someone who looks like trouble - I just hope it's not trouble for Lyn or Luke!

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    1. Wow, alcohol poisoning? Although at this point, he probably doesn't think it's such a bad idea. He's definitely living with his mistakes.

      Since Brad doesn't have Lyn and Luke in his life anymore, this person is better than having nobody at this point. You'll see who he is in the next chapter.

      Thanks for readng, Jilly!

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  14. That's right bitch! Burn in the hell you've created! I smiled wickedly as I read this. But I'll give a real assessment just the same.

    I like that he is figuring out where he went wrong. Let me explain. I LOVE watching his tortured soul burn for the shit he dealt. It's great watching him writhe in pain at his actions. People truly know how to inflict the most damage on themselves so he'll be aching for a while. Anyway I like seeing this because MAYBE, just MAYBE he can become a productive citizen or something. Plus watching him take a road down memory lane = more pain = YAY DIE BRAD!

    I can't see the "I blame my parents" thing with anyone. I think it's a cop out, always has been. You made your own fucking bed! You decide the person you want to become! That has nothing to do with how you're raised otherwise I'd be a sadistic, racist bitch hellbent on destroying any and everything that came in my face. As it stands I'm a sadistic, appreciative bitch hellbent on watching OTHERS suffer but not from my own hands...see? Completely different!

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    1. Yeah, I figured you would enjoy his self-torment. lol I always get nervous when I post a chapter with Brad or Naveah because I know how crazy you get. xD

      I agree, he's starting to realize his reponsibility in all this simply because of the fact that he lost the woman that he loved and his best friend. Now that he doesn't really have anyone to go to but his brother, it's really hitting him. I think the hardest part for him to deal with is the regret that he had something great and he blew it, and Lyn didn't really ask for much to be happy. But maybe that's what he needed in order to get out of his own ego. You could be right, he might have the potential to become an actual human being with remorse. But lets not get ahead of ourselves. lol

      I agree that people make their own choices despite their crappy home environment, but it's your home environment that teaches you what's normal and what isn't, what's right and what's wrong, what's acceptable and what isn't. I think for people who are naturally strong in spirit, they make the decision to become decent human beings despite all the reason not to be. For those who are weak, they're the ones that become susceptible to emotional problems and addictions. But it's hard to say how people should act because they're the ones that have to deal with their demons, not us.

      HAHA sadistic appreciative bitch, huh? But see, you're still a sadistic bitch who likes to see others suffer. Now who made you that way, hmm? Why didn't you turn out sweet? Still your choice, right? ;-)

      Thanks for reading, Daijah!

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  15. You never miss a good thing til it leaves you! So true for him right now. I still don't feel back for him though. Don't know why but I just can't find sympathy for him. There is a song that best describes that, Usher-Throw Back

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    1. I agree, Brad didn't know what he had until he lost it. But sometimes, it has to happen, otherwise, how will people learn? Yup, he has done some pretty shitty things, and pretty much destroyed the readers' trust as well. Haha that Throwback song by Usher definitely describes him right now.

      Thanks for reading, Qui!

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  16. Before I begin my actual comment, let me just say that I am on spring break and am sitting on my couch with a giant bowl of popcorn and I'm sooo excited to catch up on Memoirs and Heat. (Okay, so not exactly a wild and crazy spring break. It's okay, I'm sure the Rossi boys will heat things up... ;))

    Okay, onto the actual comment! I got so excited when I read the disclaimer... and then realized it was about Brad. Oh Brad, you're just breaking everyone's heart! Don't you know we want a knight in shining armor like Luke? haha

    You know, I don't think Brad sees it this way, but I think his misery is a good thing. He finally realizes something is missing in his life -- had Lyn not left him, he'd have continued taking her for granted. He found a real connection with someone, something more than just a one night stand, and now he can't go back to the impersonal sex. Even though Brad sorta sounds like a whiny teenager (hahah), I think he's starting to grow up.

    I really like these little glimpses into Brad's thoughts and emotions. After all, Lyn was with him for like two years. Clearly he's got some redeeming qualities, even if he turned out to be a complete jerk. He might be really flawed, but he is just human. That being said, I'm 100% for his suffering right now -- it's probably one-tenth of the pain Lyn felt. Actions have consequences Brad!

    Anyway, great chapter! I'm excited to see where Brad's refuge is!!

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    1. How was your spring break? I knows it's been ages but I'm finally sitting down and responding to comments. Gosh, I feel so rusty! Hehe bowl of giant popcorn, huh? I love it! Well I'm honored that you spent your break reading my stories. Woot!! Awww, I know...people arent exactly excited to see Brad's face in these chapter but I really wanted to explore his character, where he comes from. But yes, Luke is the favorite at the moment, the knight in shining armor :P

      I agree, Brad is realizing that impersonal sex is not enough, that he wants something more fulfilling. Like you said, he would have continued taking her for granted if she didnt leave. I mean, it was a jacked up way reason for her to leave, but a wake-up call for both, nonetheless. He is starting to see how his actions affected others, and *gasp* dare I say it? Growing up.

      I also felt a strong connection to Brad...there's something really flawed and human about him, and at the same time, he still has potential to change. He was a huge part in Lyn's life, so it's only natural to catch a glimpse of the man that turned her world upside down.

      Thanks for reading Meghan!

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