Chapter Thirty-Eight (Edge Of Desire)

Previously, on "Memoirs Of A City Girl":
Ch. (37) Everything Changes
-Brad wanted to talk things over, so I let him in and gave him five minutes.
-I ended up letting everything out, letting him know about the pain
 he put me through.
-I told him I needed him that night I had a miscarriage.
-I told him that I almost killed myself after I lost the baby 
and caught him with my sister.
-I asked him what I ever did to deserve what he did.
-He said, "Nothing. Absolutely nothing."
-Even though offered to leave, I told him to stay.
-Despite my anger, I found myself wrapped in his arms, breaking down.
-He ended up throwing me against the wall and kissing me, bringing back 
all of the feelings and desire I tried so hard to push away.
-Before I knew it, we started undressing each other.
-Despite my pleas for him to stop, my body was at his mercy.

*Graphic sexual content, Strong language, Nudity*

Location: 1012 Pomona Promenade
Date: Friday, 11/4/2011
Time: 7:55 p.m.

"Brad..." I whisper, as if verbalizing his name will snap me out of this spell he skillfully cast. Even when I try to convince myself that I hate him, that I should have never allowed things to get this far, my body betrays me.  My common sense is overpowered by his hand inside my panties, his fingers slowly caressing my wet flesh.  All I can do is lean back against his chest as my thighs clamp on his hand, shuddering, along with my breath.  I can't tell if it's dusk or dawn, if a minute or ten hours passed since he got here.  Is this real? Is he really inside my house, right behind me, with his hand stroking my crotch?

"Shhh...don't fight it." His voice drizzles against my ear like warm honey, as if I have no choice in the matter.  I can feel his teeth gently tug at the skin on my neck, planting tiny bites, but leaving a cool residue at the wake of his breath.  Slowly, but surely, his tongue traces each pink indentation, from behind my ear all the way down the tip of my shoulder.  I suck in my breath, lost in the shivers running up and down my spine.  Then he takes his fingers out of my panties and puts them in his mouth, making smacking sounds, like he just dipped his hand in brownie batter.  He lets out a deep groan. "Mmm...so good. Sit on my face, baby.  Please.  I can't take it anymore."

Hearing the desperation in his voice stirs something deep inside.  He knows that's my weakness.  He knows damn well I love that shit.  And despite my pledge that he will never get a taste of this again, reality seems to take a surprising turn.  Backing up against his hard-on, I mutter, "How bad do you want it?" 

"So bad.  So damn bad. I'm going crazy." 

"This kitty's a free agent.  You're gonna have to earn it."

"Oh, it's like that?"

"Mmhmm."




Young and full of running
Tell me where is 
That taking me?
Just a great figure eight
Or a tiny infinity?
Love is nothing 
But a dream that 
Keeps waking me
For all of my trying
We still end up dying
How can it be?

With his hands on my hips, he turns me around.  In one step, his pelvis touches mine while our faces are only inches from each other.  One hand grabs my ass and pulls me towards his hardness, poking me, while the other hand reaches for my face.  I look up at him.  I force myself to peek into his pale blue eyes.  The eyes that look like the backdrop of a clear summer day when he smiles, waves of a deep ocean storm when he's angry and diluted liquid sapphire when he's insanely turned on.  I trace the black patch of facial hair under his lower lip with my index finger, remembering when he was a white t-shirt and jeans kind of guy, picking me up in his black and red Rock Town muscle car.  Brings back memories.  Somehow sensing my reverie, he says, "I need to know..." 

"Hmm?" I reply lazily, watching my finger gently trace the outline of his firm mouth.

"Did Luke..." He squeezes my jaw, unable to draw out the rest of the words, as if he's being hindered by bothersome images in his head.  I can feel his fingers tense up on my skin. 

"What?"

"Did he get some of this kitty? When he was here?"

"Bradley!"

"Tell me, please." He cups my face between both hands, as he takes another step forward, until I can feel his breath on my nose.  There's a look in his eyes I can't describe.  Somewhere between anguish and morbid curiosity.  

What am I supposed to say? Nothing happened? That Luke was a perfect gentleman even though I was practically begging him to have sex with me? That he was more concerned about being a friend than taking advantage of me in my vulnerable state? I hear the truth in my head.  But for some reason I can't seem to say it.  This part of me, this sick, vindictive side that wants payback, that wants to see Brad suffer, sees this as an opportunity.  It wants him to be livid with jealousy.  It wants him to squirm.  In a calm, collected voice, I say, "Yes...he was there for me.  He comforted me."

"Oh." 

"Any more questions?"

"Was he better than me?"

"What?!"

"You heard me."    

"Let's just say...I think you met your match."

"We'll see about that." With a throaty groan, he pulls me up and devours my mouth, my legs instinctively wrapping around his waist.

"Don't say a word
Just come over 
And lie here with me
'Cause I'm just about to
Set fire to everything I see
I want you so bad
I'll go back on
The things I believe
There I just said it
I'm scared you'll
Forget about me"

The next thing I know, I'm on the floor naked, on all fours.  I can feel Brad behind me, his hands cupping my ass, then slowly moving down my thighs, until they rest back on my hips.  When I turn my head, his eyes meet mine, glistening into a powder blue.  His mouth slightly parts as he continues to caress one cheek, then the other, and I can almost hear the vile thoughts creeping into his mind.  That look I've seen a thousand times, that moment right before he takes me. Hard.  Not caring where we're at or who's around.  My mouth slowly forms into a knowing smile.  He bites his lower lip, his eyes burning into mine, and says, "Hot damn...this ass.  Stick it out for me, baby. God..."

"You're so bossy." I narrow my eyes at him, hating the way he can just command me with a look and I'm a helpless mush.  

"You love it." He replies as he takes the tip of his index and middle finger and slowly runs it up and down the length of my moist flesh, torturing me with this consuming ache deep inside.

I buck, drawing air between my teeth at his touch.  I can feel myself dripping even more as his index finger moves lower to stroke the puckered bud, while the tip of his thumb prods at the opening, teasing me mercilessly.  To regain my own composure and sanity, I whisper, "So is Luke."

In my head, I can hear screeching of brakes before a loud crash.  In the stillness of my home and the cloudless night, I can feel his body, along with his skillful hands on my skin, freeze up behind me.  I can almost taste the daggers hurling towards his heart, burrowing inside the arteries at the sound of Luke's name.  He felt that.  I KNOW he felt that.

SMACK.  He slaps my ass, making me gasp at the lingering sting.  I can feel the pulse on the palm of his hand, trying to break free.  He tries, but unsuccessfully, to suppress his anger by muttering, "I don't wanna hear his name. Do you hear me?" 

Watching him fall apart in jealousy gives me this strange thrill.  My body may be at his mercy, but I know which buttons to push.  And there's one sensitive button that's plagued Brad with insecurities from the beginning. Luke.  He used my attraction for Luke as an excuse to sleep with my sister and screw me over.  This time, I'm pushing.  And I will push until my thirst for vengeance has been quenched. In a soft moan, I purr, "Oh, Luke..." 

SMACK. Another slap on my ass. This time, with more force, as he yells, "Dammit, woman! Shut up!"

"Make me!" 

Without thought, he spreads my thighs apart.  Then he pushes me down until my nipples graze the wooden floor.  His voice laced in seething frustration, he says, "I know what'll shut you up." 

"What?" I mumble innocently, feeling my heart send secret messages to my privates as it hammers on, waiting for his response.  Brad is usually the one that steals my self-control, watching me squirm and beg until the torture stops.  The last time I saw him this worked up was when he found out that I was with Luke at the park in Bridgeport.  He took his jealousy out on my body and I loved every minute of it.  The other time was when he caught us kissing.  Just the thought of it brings me demented pleasure.  I stick my ass out even more, slowly wiggling it, murmuring, "Mmm...Luke..."

He retaliates.  With his face deeply buried between my legs.  As his hands grip my thighs and keep them spread, his tongue forcefully darts in and out of me, alternately lapping my juices and penetrating my walls.  I can feel the pressure build up in my pelvic area, slowly concentrating on my puckered bud, which is now insanely sensitive, almost crying for release.  Waves of heat and tingles radiate from deep inside my womb, nearly making me forget how to hold myself up.  My eyes roll towards the ceiling, darting uncontrollably, as I grind against his face.

Shivers travel from my arms all the way to my thighs, causing me to whimper mindlessly, "Oh my...L-luke..."

"Uh-huh.  Say his name again. I dare you." He challenges as he slides two fingers inside me, moving it in and out impatiently, creating wet sounds of friction.  Slosh. Slosh. Slosh.  Then his tongue returns, this time flicking my throbbing button, his face following the wild movement of my hips.

Son of a bitch. He's going for my damn weakness.  I can feel my thighs quiver as waves of tingles continue to build, nearing its peak, making me cry out, "Oh God...oh...oh...Lu...Braaaad!"

"That's right. Who's name is that?" His hot breath takes over my whole lower body as he continues to finger me while adding more pressure with his tongue, vibrating, knowing my body so well, knowing I'm close. 

"Y-yours! Oh my God, B-brad!" My stomach tightens.  My breath leaps in my throat, nearly drowning me.  My eyes slam shut, as if it's protecting itself from an eminent explosion.

"Come on, baby, let me hear it. Louder!"

"Brad, Braaad, Braaadley! Oh my God, that tongue! I'm gonna come!"

"Fuck yeaahhhh. Come for daddy."

"Ohhh, Braaaaadley!!"

"Mmhmm...that's what I thought." 

As my body continues to convulse, he picks me up and carries me towards the fireplace.  The moment my back hits the rug, he peels his boxer briefs off, revealing the large mass of erection.  He grabs one leg and plants kisses on it, starting from my inner thigh, up to my knees, down my shin and finally nibbling on my toes.  Then he pauses---the tip of my toes poking his chin---and looks at me.  With sober eyes, he asks, "Lyn...you sure you wanna do this?"

I hadn't even really thought about it.  I hadn't planned on him showing up.  I hadn't planned on kissing him or ending up naked on the floor.  My body was too distracted and enthralled by Brad's magical ways of sucking me back in, opening the door to a buffet of carnal desires, mind-blowing orgasms and dripping sexual chemistry.  And here he is again, reverting into a damn gentleman after robbing my ability to resist.  

"God, I hate you..." I shake my head, detesting the fact that I'm still contracting from the remnants of my orgasm earlier.  And I need him inside.  Deep, deep, inside.

"That's too bad." He smiles.  That sexy ass smile that I just want to slap off his face.  Before I can even respond, he's already rolling a condom down his hard length.  He nudges my legs out of the way before he enters me slowly, letting me feel every solid, thick, inch, while his eyes continue to probe mine.  Words escape me.  Thoughts flee my brain.  All I can feel is my heart aching...racing...as he slides in and out of me, bringing back feelings that I've tried so hard to pacify.  It's too much all at once.  I try to look away and focus on the logs in the fireplace, but he grabs my face and forces me to meet his intense gaze. "Because I love you."

"So young and

Full of running
All the way to 
The edge of desire
Steady my breathing
Silently screaming
I have to have you now"

Still deep inside, he places me against the wall, my legs clinging to his waist.  I hold on to his shoulders as he continues to pound into me, burying my face against the crook of his neck.  I can hear his pulse beneath my chin, drumming wildly.  With his hands gripping my thighs and pulling me closer, until he can't possibly go any deeper, he holds it for a moment, savoring the involuntary contractions of my walls as they squeeze him.  I can feel his hot breath on my shoulder, moving faster, along with the rhythmic movement of his hips, filling up my insides.  Hard. Deep. Excruciatingly good, I can scream.

"So tight...so good...Lyn, look at me." He nudges my face, seeking my eyes until I look up at him.  My nails dig into his shoulders as I try to control the waves of shivers running throughout my whole body.  Then he kisses me softly, letting his breath linger on my lips and says, "So damn beautiful..." 

Beautiful.  That word echoes in my mind as I watch it bounce restlessly before finally settling in one place.  Feeling myself drown in his thrusts, I suddenly feel very exposed.  It wasn't just my clothes that I shed.  I also unlocked the gate that kept my heart protected, letting him back in.  And now, I'm bombarded by images of that one day that changed my life forever.  The day I caught him with Naveah.  I want to cry for help.  I want someone to save me from this...this emotional hell hole that I've gotten myself into.  But my body continues to ache for him, for a desperate release, for something to finally wash away the pain.  With tears rolling down my cheeks, I cling to him, mumbling, "Y-you h-hurt me..."

"I'm sorry, baby." He slows down his pace, gentle as ever, as he kisses the path of my tears.  Now his tears are mixing with mine as he wraps his arms around me, his lips trembling.  Shaking his head, he whispers, "I'm...s-so...sorry..."

My need to cling to him, to feel the heat of his skin, outweighs my need for sexual release.  Even as he shifts so that he's against the wall, still carrying me in his arms, he senses this and gently pulls out.  Slowly, he lowers himself on the floor, carefully taking me with him.  He lifts me up until my rear end is perfectly nestled between his legs, allowing our faces to touch as I lean against him.  I can feel his temple throb against my cheek as he pulls me even closer, caressing my back, saying, "Shhh...it's okay.  Don't cry...please."

"I'm j-just...so confused." I take a deep breath, letting the weight of my body fall on him.  He can deal with the burden for once.  I'm done fighting.  I wipe my face as my sobs subside, feeling the moisture cool off on my cheeks.  

"I know.  You've been through a lot." The warmth of his hand soothes me, rocking me back into a serene place.

"Nothing makes sense anymore." I mutter, listening to the successions of our breathing, taking turns. Rise...fall. Rise...fall.

"I'll leave, okay?" 

"Why?" 

"So you can figure things out."

"No...stay. I need you..."

"I'm here, baby.  I'm not going anywhere." 

*Copyright 2013 Lyn C.S.*
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"Edge Of Desire" by John Mayer
Video by: ahumbleperspective