Ch. 22 (All The Things)
-After coming back from the doctor's office, I found out that I was 10 weeks pregnant.
-Brad stood me up again at the bistro and movie theater, so I stopped trying.
-My loneliness was so overwhelming that I ended up calling Luke.
-He came over, and we started kissing.
-Somehow he managed to find enough self-control to stop and think about Brad, who is like a
brother to him.
-Even though we decided to put our feelings aside, Brad heard and saw most of it.
-He angrily confronted Luke, only to be reminded that he needs to appreciate what he has before
someone else does.
-He already assumed the worst, and stormed out.
-After taking a walk outside, I had a miscarriage.
*Graphic sexual content, nudity, strong language*
Location: Sacred Spleen Memorial Hospital
Date: Thursday, 10/20/11
Time: 10:30 a.m.
"I'm glad you came in today but you can't stay here. You need to go home." My doctor advises as she prescribes antibiotics and pain-killers. I still came in to work today. When she ran into me this morning, she noticed how pale and dejected I looked. I've been sitting in her office for over an hour, explaining what happened with the baby last night, and she lectured me for not calling 911 with all of the blood that I lost. Maybe I should have went with the baby too.
"Thank you, but I'll be fine." I force myself to smile but even I know my eyes are lying. Brad never came home last night. I don't know where he went, but he probably stayed with his parents since Luke would be out of the question. I spent the better part of the night crying until there were no tears left. I wish there was a magic wand that can make me go back in time and prevent all of this mess from happening. If someone told me that that this would be the price for love, I would have avoided meeting Brad. There would be no broken friendship, no broken heart and no shattered dreams of motherhood.
As I pass through the foggy streets, warm memories of the days when we were happy betray my heart. I remember when we first met, how our eyes locked in a hypnotizing trance in the library, making me forget where I was. Then I ran into him again at the gym and pretended I was a married woman just to keep him on his toes. That led to our first date...sort of...when he kidnapped me from my studies and took me to the food truck. We ended up spending the whole day together, even stargazing at this beautiful beach that I've never been to. I remember our first official date, when he met my family and kept calling my dad sir. Afterwards he took me to the bistro for a romantic dinner but decided to take me home early because he made a promise to my dad.
And then our first kiss...after he surprised me with a picnic at the beach with the most amazing view of the water and the city. His lips set my soul on fire, and that led to our first time. Gawd, that was fucking hot. Just thinking about the way he took charge of my body and made me explode in earth-shattering ecstasy...makes me shiver.
The next day, I surprised myself by going down on him in the shower, and he got so aroused that he took me from behind with such authority. I remember the first time he told me he loved me at the beach at night. That was after we almost went at it in the hot tub and elevator at the Prosper Room. I ended up straddling him as we rocked back and forth while people passed by. He had this ability to make me feel like the most desirable woman in the world, and that really made me come out of my shell. So much that I found myself fondling him in the hot tub in front of our friends.
I really don't undestand why, despite everything that's happened, I still love him. I still wish I was carrying his child, and I still wish we could have worked things out. It's very hard for me to imagine my life without him, even though we've been drifting apart. If he's there when I walk through the door, I'm going to ask him if there's still a chance that we can repair our relationship. We both made mistakes, but maybe if we can finally talk about our issues, there might be light at the end of the dark tunnel. I want to be able to say that I did everything I could to make it work because once I'm done, I'm done. Once I move out, I'm moving on.
Location: 99 Embarcadero Drive
Time: 11:10 a.m.
The sight of his car parked outside makes me lose my breath. I'm actually feeling butterflies again, knowing that he's home and he's going to be there. I have to think positively. He could be back for other reasons, but I have to believe that he still has the desire to be with me, even if it's a fraction of what he felt before. I take a deep breath as I ponder what I'm going to say to him when our eyes meet. Should I run up to him and hug him? Should I just walk up to him and kiss him? Or should I just play it safe and say "hey"?
As I walk up the stairs, my ears pick up the strangest sounds. It sounds like heavy breathing accompanied by moans. In fact, it sounds like Brad when we have sex. No, my mind has to be playing tricks on me. He must be watching porn. That's the only logical explanation for this. Then I remember that we don't have a t.v. in the bedroom. No. No!! Uh-uh. It's not possible.
My heart races as I approach the landing. The sounds seem to be getting louder and it's becoming more clear that there's another woman in there. I close my eyes, hoping that this is all a bad dream, and when I open them again, he's really alone. But I continue to hear the same muffled sounds.
"Oh, Brad!!" A woman's deep moan shoots directly to my ear and cuts away at my heart, forcing me to look towards the bed. No. Please, God, noooo!! I can see sweat drip down his ass as he pounds into her from behind, holding on to her hips the same way he holds on to mine. Every writhing movement amongst their raspy groans and moans rip my already battered heart apart, pulling it in opposite directions. The man that I thought loved me for the last two years is inside another woman, giving her the pleasure that was supposed to be mine. And mine alone.
"What the fuck??!!" I scream at the top of my lungs as he quickly jumps from away the bed. I can still hear the ragged breathing that used to sound like music to my ears.
"Lyn..." He doesn't even have the balls to look me in the eye. How could he, when I just caught him with his dick out.
"Take a bow
The night is over
This masquerade
Is getting older
Lights are low
The curtain's down
There's no one here"
"You motherfucker!! This is what you do??" My hand hits his face so hard, it makes a popping sound. It leaves a red welt on his cheek.
"I..." He hisses through his teeth, running his hand across his face.
Consumed in my anger, I had forgotten about the other woman. The sight of her naked body out of the corner of my eye forces me to face her identity. I'm not dreaming. This is not a nightmare. This is really happening. Her raven hair, fair skin and thin frame finally registers in my brain.
"My sister?!!" The words escape my mouth like shards of broken glass, scraping at my throat until it's bleeding raw.
"Lyn...I..." He briefly looks at her as if he doesn't remember how she got here, and he doesn't understand why she's without any clothes. Maybe if he doesn't look at her, she doesn't exist, and this whole thing is just in his head.
He can pretend all he wants, but her presence is very real to me. She is standing in my bedroom, in my home, after she just fucked the man that held my heart in his hands, that meant the world to me, that was going to be the father of my dead child. I should have seen this coming when they flirted with each other that night when he met my family. She badmouthed me and tried to flirt with him, but I never thought she would be capable of doing this. I tolerated her spoiled ways, I tolerated her entitled attitude, I even tolerated my parents' blatant favoritism towards her. Shit, I even tolerated her not-so-subtle ways of putting me down. But I'm not going to stand here and let this bitch get away with this shit. When you go after my man and fuck him, you're dead to me.
Her eyes are filled with dread as I lunge at her. As soon as her back hits the floor, I sit on her stomach to make sure she can't move. Holding her neck down with one hand, I punch her face repeatedly with the other hand, releasing years of pent-up anger, resentment and frustration to her delicate bone structure. Even with her futile cries for me to stop, I continue to beat the shit out of her until blood oozes out of her nose and eyebrows.
"I'm sorry...please stop..." She whimpers, tears streaming down her face.
"Lyn, stop! You're really hurting her! Lyn!!" I hear Brad's voice behind me as he tries to wrestle me away from my cowering sister.
"You want me to beat the shit out of you too?!!" My eyes are so drenched in red-hot rage that they look demonic, and he backs away.
"You know what?? You won. You fucked Brad. I get it. But at the end of the day, that's all you're good for. You can have him, bitch!!" I watch as her whimpers stop, knowing she heard every single word and they cut deep. Her bruises will heal, but she will not forget what I said. Not for a very long time.
I don't even remember how I made it out of the building so fast. All I know is that as I ran down the stairs, I could not hold back the tears any longer. The anger and adrenaline that gave me the strength to beat my sister's ass have dissipated, and my heart is exposed again. The pain is now returning, and it is much worse this time. The open, gaping wounds of my heart are dripping with blood. Everytime I get flashbacks of Brad's naked body grinding against Naveah, it feels like salt has been poured all over my raw flesh.
"Lyn, wait!! I'm sorry!" I hear his voice from a distance.
I know he's right behind me, but I can't even bare to turn around and look at him right now. I'd rather get hit by a car than face the man that just humiliated me beyond repair. I don't want anything to do with him or the life that we used to share. I wish I can erase the last two years so I don't have to deal with the sharp knives slicing away at my heart with every breath that I take.
"Baby, please come back!" He begs again, but I ignore him.
Keep running.
My prayers must have been answered because I see a cab heading towards me and I desperately wave for it to stop. By the time he reaches the corner of the street, I'm already inside. For a brief moment, I watch him stare helplessly as I pull away behind tinted windows.
Don't look back.
Bzzzz....Bzzzz.....Bzzzz......
My cellphone keeps vibrating, but I ignore it. I know it's him without having to look at the caller i.d. I know it's that asshole. I wipe the tears off my face as I try to shake the flashbacks of what just happened a few minutes ago. I pinch myself to see if it's all a dream, but I'm still sitting in the cab in shock. Oh my God, this is actually real. How could they do this to me?? On top of everything that I've gone through this week, this shit happens.
Bzzzz.....Bzzzz....Bzzzz.....
My phone vibrates again. This time, I turn it off.
"All the world is a stage
And everyone has their part
But how was I to know
Which way the story'd go
How was I to know
You'd break
You'd break my heart"
Before I know it, everything becomes pitch black. I feel myself being catapulted into another place but I can't figure out where it is. There's a moment of utter silence before I feel my own body sinking own.
It's still dark, but the light is slowly returning. I start to make out objects and figures that look familiar to me. I can feel the hardness of the ground, I can hear cars passing by and I can also feel the wind brushing aganst my skin.
I find myself sitting on the ground, leaning against someone. I can feel this person's arms wrapped around me, holding me tight. That scent. It smells so familiar. It evokes conflicting emotions of love, anger, happiness, pain, desire and longing.
"Shhhhh...it's okay, baby. You're gonna be okay. Just breathe for me." A husky voice caresses my ears. That voice. I know that voice. The inexplicable longing returns again.
I try to get up, but my knees are weak. This person quickly catches me before my body gives out.
"Just sit here with me for a little bit. You need your strength." His voice has enough authority to make me sink back into his arms willingly, but it soothes me, preventing panic from setting in. I don't know who he is, but I trust him somehow.
"What happened?" My head feels like it's spinning as I raise up slowly.
"You fainted, Lyn."
The sound of my name makes me drop my hand and look at his face. As soon as his pale blue eyes connect with mine, everything comes back to me. All of the anguish, all of the regrets, all of the humiliation and all of the despair.
"No. Nooooo!!" Without even thinking, I sprint towards my truck.
"Lyn, wait!!"
"I've always been
In love with you
I guess you've
Always known it's true
You took my love for granted
Why oh why
The show is over
Say goodbye"
*Copyright 2012 Lyn C.S.*
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Author's Note: I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter, it's been a long time coming! This was very hard for me to write. I'm still shocked at what Brad and Naveah did. I also wanted to let you know that Ch. 1 (Training Day) from my new story "Heat" has been released. It has Luke Rossi as the main character, along with his two firefighter brothers, Nate and Jake. I hope you like it!
Thanks again for following my story. It just hit 9,000 views, and this would not be possible without your warm and generous support. Without you, there's no story! I am truly humbled. :-)
Heat
"Take A Bow" by Madonna
Video by: madonna
